Many companies today sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that this is a good thing for the world of sports. Others think this has disadvantages. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Sample Response
Sports sponsorship has become a popular marketing tool used by companies to promote their brandsadvertise their brand to a wider audience. While some people view it as a beneficial trend for the world of sports, others are concerned about its downsides. This essay will examine both perspectives before concluding that I am in favor of sports sponsorship overallthe former.
On the one hand, it is understandable why some argue that there are several disadvantages associated with companies sponsoring sports. Chief among them is the potential for the sport to become overly commercialized, prioritizing financial gain over the core values and traditions of the sport. Consequently, the integrity of the sport may suffer. To illustrate, the recent commercialization of the FIFA World Cup, the most prestigious football tournament, has led to greater emphasis on profit and marketingan emphasis on profits and marketing rather than the sport's traditions and values. The tournament's governing body, FIFA, has faced criticism for accepting sponsorships from corporations with a history of violating human rights, causing doubts about the event's integritygenuineness.
On the other hand, I side with those who claim that corporate sponsorship of sportbusiness sponsorship in sports has a positive impact on the sporting worldthe sports sector. Firstly, sponsorship provides much-needed financial support to sports teams and events, which can help them improve facilities and equipment for athletes. For example, the multi-million-dollar deals between Adidas and Manchester United have allowed the club to provide itstheir football players with a state-of-the-art gyma state-of-the-art gym center and cutting-edge training facilities. Secondly, sponsorship can increase the popularity and visibility of sports, attracting more fans and media coverage. This can lead to greater exposure for athletes and teams, enabling them to reach a broader audience.
In conclusion, although there are valid concerns regarding the risk of sports being excessively commercialised, I feel that corporate sponsorship in sports is advantageous overall, given that it can offer crucial financial aid to enhance sporting facilitiessports amenities for athletes and boost the popularity and exposure of sports.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, sustained position, supported by a balanced discussion and well-chosen examples. Its main limitation is that a few claims, particularly about event integrity and increased visibility, could be developed with more precise causal explanation. Prioritise deepening those links so that every supporting point is as fully substantiated as the financial-support argument.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both views directly, maintains a clear opinion, and supports its main ideas with relevant explanation and examples.
Develop the consequences of commercialisation and greater visibility more precisely so each claim is fully substantiated.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through well-focused paragraphs, with cohesive devices used clearly and unobtrusively.
Vary the internal organisation of supporting points slightly to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
A wide and generally precise vocabulary conveys abstract arguments effectively, with only occasional awkward choices.
Replace imprecise phrases such as doubts about an event’s genuineness with more exact wording about credibility or integrity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is handled accurately, and minor imperfections do not affect clarity.
Continue refining agreement and reference choices in longer sentences to achieve consistently polished control.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many companies today sponsor sports as a way of advertising themselves. Some people think that this is a good thing for the world of sports. Others think this has disadvantages. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.