People only work hard for money and there are no other reasons for doing that. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
It is sometimes asserted that the sole reason for people to work diligently is financial gain. I largely disagree with this assertion, as many individuals also value their contributions to societysocial contributions and personal growth, even though income can be important in workers’ livesof great importance to workers’ lives. The main reason I reject the ideaforemost rationale for my disapproval of the notion that people work hard for no reasonreasons other than money lies in the importance they place on contributingsignificance of their contributions. It is common for people to work wholeheartedly to contribute to the development of their communities and countries. For instance, it has been reported that numerous Chinese engineers are working on new modelshave been working on new models of electric cars as they are inspired by the country’s ambition to lead the global automobile industry. Another reason why I reject the idea thatdisapprove that the only motivation for diligent workmotive behind diligent workers is monetary rewardincentives is the pursuit of self-development. Some individuals consistently challenge their limits, aiming to developadvance themselves. An illustrative example of this is Cristiano Ronaldo. At the age of 38, he continues to improve his physical fitnesswork on his physical strength and football skills daily to improve his performance on the field and win more titles. If his efforts were motivated solely by moneyall about money, he would have retired years ago after already amassingafter having already amassed billions from the sport. However, I acknowledge the role of a good income in some people’s lives. This is especially true of peopleThey are the ones who might struggle financially and are driven to work diligently to earn higher incomesincrease their salaries. Increased pay, in turn, can allow them to not only earn a living but also afford a higher standard of living for their families. If they could not earn moreProvided that they could not earn extra, their motivation to work diligently might diminish significantly. In conclusion, I mostly reject the view that money is the sole motivation for people to pursue their careers wholeheartedly given the fact that some people have social and personal motivationsunique social and personal causes despite the potential monetary benefits. That is why companies should study their employees’ motivations thoroughly to inspire them effectively.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its clear, consistently maintained position, supported by relevant arguments and specific examples throughout. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, which obscures the otherwise logical stages, while several over-engineered collocations reduce naturalness. Prioritize dividing the argument into purposeful paragraphs and then simplifying awkward phrasing so the reasoning reads more fluently and professionally.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear degree of disagreement is sustained and developed through relevant social, personal, and financial motivations.
Keep the conclusion tightly focused on the question by omitting the undeveloped recommendation about what companies should do.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a logical sequence and uses clear transitions, but the complete absence of paragraph breaks significantly weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, each main reason, the financial qualification, and the conclusion into distinct, purposeful paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a broad and flexible vocabulary, though several collocations sound strained or imprecise, including ‘advance themselves’ and ‘unique social and personal causes’.
Choose more natural combinations such as ‘develop themselves’ and ‘social and personal motivations’ instead of forcing elevated wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally controlled well, with only occasional agreement and phrasing problems that do not obscure meaning.
Correct local mismatches such as the singular ‘motive’ with plural ‘monetary incentives’ and simplify overlong sentence frames.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People only work hard for money and there are no other reasons for doing that. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.