The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.
Sample Response
Energy from the Sun reaches Earth and is converted into heatreaches the Earth as heat. Some of this heatthis heat energy is subsequentlysubsequently/then radiated into space, while some of it is trapped by greenhouse gases in the atmosphere and redirected towards Earthreflected back to Earth. This is a natural process, butbut in recent decades, human activities have led to an increase in greenhouse-gas concentrationsthe amounts of greenhouse gases in the atmosphere which now trap too much heatwhich is now trapping too much heat.
One of the main greenhouse gases is carbon dioxide, and additional carbon dioxideextra quantities of this are releasedare released/have been released into the atmosphere through burning fossil fuelsas a result of burning fossil fuels as a source of energy in power stations, factories and homes. Exhaust gases from cars and lorries result inresult in/have resulted in additional carbon dioxide emissionsfurther emissions of carbon dioxide.
TreesPlants serve to remove some of the carbon dioxide from the atmosphere by absorbing itby absorbing it through their leaves. However, as treeslarge areas of forest are being felledare felled/are being felled/have been felled in the Amazon and elsewhere, less carbon dioxide is removed in this way.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear, logically ordered account of the central greenhouse process and accurately connects fossil-fuel emissions and deforestation to increased atmospheric carbon dioxide. Its main weakness is the inclusion of several details not shown in the diagram, alongside visible slash-separated drafting alternatives that make the answer look unfinished. Keep every detail tied to the visual and choose one final grammatical form before submission.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main energy cycle, added carbon dioxide from fossil fuels, and reduced absorption after tree felling are all described clearly, though some specific settings and locations are not shown in the diagram.
Restrict the description to visible features and explicitly distinguish energy reflected by the atmosphere from heat radiated back into space.
Coherence and Cohesion
The explanation progresses logically from the natural heat cycle to emissions and then deforestation, with clear paragraph-level organization.
Remove slash-separated alternatives so each sentence presents one settled, smoothly connected version.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, including appropriate terms such as 'radiated,' 'trapped,' 'emissions,' and 'absorbing.'
Choose one exact expression wherever alternatives are shown and avoid adding overly specific wording that the visual does not support.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures is used with generally strong control, although the slash alternatives and the agreement in 'amounts ... which is' interrupt accuracy.
Proofread for agreement across relative clauses and select a single tense or connector instead of leaving alternatives in the final response.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The following diagram shows how greenhouse gases trap energy from the Sun.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.