The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000.
Sample Response
(1st paragraph introduces the topic of the graph, explains what the graph shows and outlines overall trends or patterns.) The graph shows pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000. It measures smoke and sulphur dioxide in micrograms per cubic metre. OverallAccording to the information, the levels of both pollutants followed similar overall trendsformed a similar pattern during this period, but there were generallyalways higher levels of sulphur dioxide than smoke in London's airin the atmosphere.
(2nd paragraph describes the trends in more detail and illustrates these using data from the graph.) In 1600, both pollutant levels were close to zeroIn 1600, pollution levels were low, but by 1700over the next hundred years, sulphur dioxide levels rosethe levels of sulphur dioxide rose to 700 micrograms per cubic metre, while smoke levels rose graduallythe levels of smoke rose gradually to about 200 micrograms per cubic metre. From 1700 to the mid-nineteenth centuryOver the next two hundred years the levels of sulphur dioxide continued to increase, although there was several fluctuationssome fluctuation in this trend. Sulphur dioxide levels reached a peakThey reached a peak in 1850. Smoke levels continued to rise graduallyincreased a little more sharply during this time and peaked around 1890 at roughly 450 microgramsin 1900 at about 500 micrograms. After 1900During the 20th century, the levels of both pollutants fell dramatically, though there was a great deal of fluctuation during this declinewithin this fall.
(Final paragraph draws a simple conclusion from the data.) Clearly air pollution was a bigger problem in London in the early 20th century than it was in 2000than it is now.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The report presents the main long-term trends clearly, uses mostly accurate figures, and handles complex sentence structures with strong control. Its main limitation is selective coverage: the sulphur-dioxide peak is not quantified, later fluctuations and the eventual near-zero levels receive little detail, and the instructional parenthetical notes distract from the report itself. Remove those notes and add a more precise comparison of the major peaks and final decline.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and generally accurate account identify the higher sulphur-dioxide levels, the different peaks, and the dramatic twentieth-century decline.
Quantify the sulphur-dioxide peak and state that both pollutants finished near zero, while briefly comparing the marked mid-century fluctuations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report follows a logical overview-to-detail progression and uses cohesive devices effectively, but the parenthetical writing instructions interrupt the flow.
Delete the instructional notes and let purposeful paragraphing alone distinguish the overview, detailed trends, and concluding comparison.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for pollutants and trends is varied and generally precise, with only occasional awkward phrasing such as fluctuation within this fall.
Use more natural combinations such as fluctuations during the decline and avoid repetitive references to the levels.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex and compound sentences are used flexibly and with a high degree of grammatical accuracy throughout the actual report.
Polish minor punctuation details, including commas after introductory time phrases, while preserving the existing sentence variety.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the pollution levels in London between 1600 and 2000.
Your response
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