The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
Sample Response
The pie charts show a comparison of water consumptionconsumptions in domestic, industrial and agricultural sectors in San Diego, California with the rest of the world. Overall, global agricultural water consumption is far higher than that of industrial and household useusages but in San Diego and California residential water useresidential usages of water are noticeably higher. Getting back to the details, the global residential water consumption is only 8%, which8% which is remarkably lower than that of domestic water useusages in SanSand Diego and California. Residential water useusages in San Diego is 60% which is 21 percentage points higheraround 20% higher than that of California. Furthermore, just below one-fourth of water is used for industrial purposesneed worldwide which is the same proportion asexactly the same ratio of San Diego’s industrial water use. By comparisonOn the contrary, California’s industrial water requirement is 33%, 10 percentage points higher10 percent higher than the worldwide figureglobal needs. Finally, global water consumption for farming is 69%approximately 70% which is significantly higher than the use of water in San Diego and Califonia for the same purpose. Only 17% and 28% water is used for the cultivation purpose in San Diego and Califonia respectively.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response offers a clear overview and accurately reports all three uses across the locations, with effective comparisons such as the identical industrial shares in San Diego and worldwide. Progression is easy to follow despite the absence of paragraph breaks, but recurring plural, agreement, spelling, and collocation problems reduce precision. The most useful improvement is to group the overview and details into separate paragraphs and use singular category labels consistently.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview identifies the key contrast and the detailed figures and comparisons are comprehensive and essentially accurate.
Express numerical differences as percentage points where appropriate and preserve exact place names to make the already strong data coverage fully precise.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overview through residential, industrial, and agricultural use, although presenting everything in one paragraph weakens the visible structure.
Place the introduction and overview in one paragraph and organise the detailed comparisons into one or two separate, clearly focused paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
The response uses a reasonable range of comparative and topic vocabulary, but repeated nonstandard plurals, misspellings, and awkward collocations reduce lexical accuracy.
Use water consumption and water use as uncountable forms, spell the locations accurately, and replace expressions such as industrial need with industrial use.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response combines simple and complex sentences effectively, though agreement, article, and noun-form errors recur throughout without obscuring the comparisons.
Check agreement after singular subjects, add missing prepositions and articles, and use structures such as 17% of water is used consistently.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie charts below compare water usage in San Diego, California and the rest of the world.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.