In a school that makes use of books children find it more boring while using films, tv videos games they find it more interesting. To what extent do you agree with this?
Sample Response
It is argued that children find it uninterestingun-interesting if a school assigns several booksif school adds several books for them to read; instead, they entertain more with the addition of TV, video games and to name but a few. I completely agree that multimedia fascinatesfascinate them more, and this essayarticulation will explain the reasons for my viewwill elucidate the justification of my standpoint in the upcoming paragraphs.
At the outset, multimedia really entertains the schoolchildrenschool-going children. Children perform exceptionally wellexhibit extraordinary performance when they are taught with the useassistance of technology. For instance, documentaries about wildlife can sharpen the children’s memory by making them recall the names of animalsbeasts. Besides, video games enhance their problem-solving skills, which benefit their studiesability that is conducive to their academic programs. So by using this technology in teaching young minds seems to be a marvelous task.
Furthermore, reading books can only help pupils to attain good scores and can turn them into diligent learnersstudious students; however, in reality, they cannot retain the information for a long time. Thus they will have theoretical knowledge in comparison with using audio-visual aids. For instance, watching educational movies can enhance their ability to store information in the long termfor the long run, and many of Shakespeare’s plays are adapted into filmsused to produce movies. Therefore, showing these to learners can help them preserve information and expose them to foreign languagesmake them aware of foreign languages.
In conclusion, Thus television and filmsTV films produceIllustrate remarkable outcomes; if these are used in schools to teach them, as the saying goes,as is ever said that a picture is worth a thousand words. So instead of making them rote learners, the introduction of these elements can help them out and provide them with first-hand experienceprovide them first-hand experience.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response maintains a clear position and organizes two relevant reasons around the advantages of multimedia learning. However, several claims about books and technology are overgeneralized, and awkward word choice and sentence construction frequently weaken precision. The highest priority is to develop each comparison with a convincing explanation or specific educational example, while replacing memorized-sounding phrases with natural vocabulary and checking clause structure, agreement, punctuation, and capitalization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response answers the question with a consistent position and relevant reasons, but parts of the support remain broad or insufficiently convincing.
Explain more precisely why multimedia improves learning and qualify sweeping claims about books with credible evidence.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure and overall progression are clear, though some linking is mechanical and a few sentences connect ideas awkwardly.
Use clearer logical transitions within paragraphs and avoid relying on formulaic signposting to carry the argument.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary shows some range, but frequent unnatural collocations and inflated expressions weaken clarity and control.
Choose direct, natural phrases and verify collocations instead of using expressions such as this articulation will elucidate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex forms is attempted, but recurring errors in clause structure, agreement, punctuation, and capitalization limit accuracy.
Focus on constructing complete clauses and checking subject-verb agreement and sentence boundaries during proofreading.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In a school that makes use of books children find it more boring while using films, tv videos games they find it more interesting. To what extent do you agree with this?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.