Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
Sample Response
Access to computers has increased significantly over recent decades, and the number of children playing games on computers has also increasedhas increased too. This essay will consider the positive and negative impacts of computer gamingimpacts of this and discuss ways to avoid the potential negative effects.
With regardregards to the positive effects, playing computer games can develop children’s cognitive skills. Many popular games require abstract and high-level thinking skillshigh level thinking skills in order to win, skills that may not be taught at school. For example, children need to follow instructions, solve complex problems and use logic in many of the games that are currently popular. Such experiencesexperience will be beneficial to a child’s development into adulthoodprogression into an adult.
However, concerns have been raised about the extensiveprolific use of computer games by children, much of this related to the violence they contain. The problem is that in many games, childrenin many of the games children are rewarded for being more violent, and this violence is repeated again and again. For instance, many games involve children helping their character to kill, kick, stab and shoot. This may lead to increased aggressive feelings, thoughts, and behaviours.
In order to minimize these negative impacts, parents need to take certain steps. Firstly, some video games are rated according to their content, so parents must check these ratingscheck this and ensure their children cannot access gamesare not allowed to have access to games that are unsuitable. Parents can also set limits on the length of time games are played. Finally, parents should also take an active interest in the games their children are playing so they can find out how they feel about what they are observing.
To sum up, there are benefits of computer games, but there are disadvantages too. However, if parents take adequate precautions, these negative impacts can be reducedthe severity of these negative impacts can be avoided.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response fully addresses the benefits, harms, and ways to limit harm, supporting each part with relevant explanation and examples in a very clear progression. Its main limitation is a small number of awkward lexical choices and isolated grammatical lapses, so the highest-priority improvement is to refine collocations and sentence phrasing while retaining the focused development and controlled organisation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
All parts of the task are addressed directly and developed with specific, relevant explanations and examples.
Deepen the positive-effects discussion slightly by explaining how the cited cognitive skills may transfer beyond gameplay.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has a clear overall progression, well-controlled paragraphing, and cohesive links that rarely draw attention to themselves.
Vary the opening links in the solution paragraph so the sequence feels slightly less enumerative.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is flexible and generally precise, though a few collocations such as prolific use and progression into an adult are awkward.
Refine these isolated collocations by choosing more idiomatic phrases such as extensive use and development into adulthood.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex sentences is handled accurately, with only rare lapses that do not impede meaning.
Polish the isolated compressed clause in much of this related to the violence they contain by adding a finite verb or clearer subordination.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Nowadays many people have access to computers on a wide basis and a large number of children play computer games. What are the positive and negative impacts of playing computer games and what can be done to minimize the bad effects?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.