Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this issue?
Sample Response
In contemporary society, the paradox of declining rates of walkingdeclining walking habits despite the widely recognized health benefits of this activity has become a pressing concern. This essay will explore the reasons behind the decreasing trend in walking and propose viable strategies to address this issue.
There are several factors contributing to the decline in walkingdiminishing practice of walking. Firstly, the rapid urbanization and modernization of cities have led to the proliferation of motor vehicles and the establishment of sedentary lifestyles. As a result, walking has been overshadowed by the convenience and speed of motorized transportation. For example, in most metropolitan areas, the prevalence of motor vehicles and sedentary habits has diminished the practice of walking among the population by as much as 75%among the population as much as 75% overon the last two decades alone.
Secondly, the increasing reliance on technology and digital devices has occupiedcaptivated people's attention, discouraging outdoor activities like walking. The allure of smartphones and online entertainment has contributed to a more sedentary lifestyle among individuals, depriving them of the physical benefits of walking. For instance, many individuals spend a significant amount of their leisure time engrossed in content on their smartphonesengrossed in smartphones and digital entertainment, which reduces their inclinationdetracts from their inclination to engage in physical activities like walking.
To tackle this issue, various measures can be implemented. Firstly, city planners should prioritize the development of pedestrian-friendly infrastructure, including well-designed sidewalks, pedestrian bridges, and green spaces, to encourage people to walk as part of their daily routines. For example, the city of Copenhagen in Denmark has successfully adopted a pedestrian-focused approach to urban planningimplemented a pedestrian-focused urban planning approach. This initiative has significantly increased the number of people walking and cycling, leading to improved public health.
Furthermore, governmentsgovernment and local authorities can launch public awareness campaigns to promote the health benefits of walking and highlight the detrimental effectsraise awareness of the detrimental effects of a sedentary lifestyle. Investing in education about the importance of physical activity can have a profound impact on people's attitudesa profound impact on changing people's attitudes towards walking.
In conclusion, while the decline in walking habits is influenced by factors such as urbanization and technological advancements, it is essential to implement proactive strategies to promote walking as a healthy lifestyle choice.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response answers both questions fully, using a clear progression from well-explained causes to practical solutions and supporting examples. Its main limitation is occasional imprecision or awkwardness in otherwise varied language, including an implausibly exact statistic and a few unnatural expressions. The highest-priority improvement is to use more precise, credible support and refine collocations while preserving the strong organisation and development.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The essay fully addresses the causes and solutions, developing each main point with relevant explanation and examples.
Replace the unsupported percentage with a credible illustration or a carefully qualified example that strengthens the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The cause-to-solution structure is easy to follow, and paragraphs and cohesive devices support clear progression.
Vary the paragraph openings and reduce formulaic sequencing words to make the progression feel even more natural.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and appropriately academic, though a few collocations and repeated expressions are not fully precise.
Use more natural combinations for declining walking rates and avoid repeating sedentary lifestyle when a precise alternative fits.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence forms are frequent and mostly accurate, with a few local errors that do not impede communication.
Proofread comparative data phrases and prepositions, particularly constructions such as by a percentage over a period.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Walking is known to be beneficial for health, yet fewer and fewer people are walking these days. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to tackle this issue?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.