In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Sample Response
Around the world, many traditional festivals these days are at risk of becoming neglected and increasingly irrelevantoutdated and irrelevant. In my opinion, their disappearance contributesthis contributes to issues concerning cultural disintegration and should be countered by citizens in concert with governments.
The main issues resulting from the loss of traditional festivalsabandoning traditional festivals concern culture. More commercial holidays such as Black Friday and Christmas are gaining in popularity, which naturally threatenspopularity which naturally threatens smaller cultural groups and their festivals. For example, in China there are numerous ethnic groups living in remote areas that struggle to preserve their traditions over time as locals learn more about the outside world and leave their hometowns. As these groups disperse further both physically and virtually, it will bevirtually it will be a challenge for old traditions to persist and this may affectthe results may impact the stories they hand down through generations, their language, traditional dishes and other aspects of culture.
The optimal remedies for the decline of traditional festivalsweakening of traditional cultures are for governments and individuals to actively encourage participation in traditional festivalsactively encourage traditional festivals. Governments can make the greatest difference. For instance, states could fund organizations that aim to promote traditional festivals by staging local events and reaching out to older members of the community. Younger people could likewise attempt to engage more with their roots and connect with the cultural heritagesources of their culture. This occurs to some extent already when traditional festivals are advertised on social media to bring in a wider audience and moregreater attention.
In conclusion, the loss of traditional festivals is a consequence of globalizationa boon to globalization and injures the cultural identity of various groups. This development must be addressed by locals on their own initiativeconfronted by locals of their own individual initiative and encouraged by governments.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its focused, logically developed explanation of cultural loss and its realistic combination of governmental and individual remedies. The main limitation is that the problem analysis is concentrated almost entirely on one broad consequence, while a few expressions are slightly imprecise. The highest-priority improvement is to distinguish and develop a second concrete problem, such as weakening community cohesion or loss of intergenerational knowledge.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are answered directly with a clear position, relevant development, and a well-integrated example, though the range of problems is somewhat narrow.
Add a distinct second consequence and explain its impact to make the problem side as comprehensive as the remedies.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure is highly coherent, and ideas move smoothly from the central problem to coordinated solutions with controlled referencing.
Make the transition between government action and individual action slightly more explicit so each remedy has an equally clear role.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide, topic-specific, and generally precise, with only occasional questionable phrasing such as describing the loss as a boon to globalization.
Choose a more exact concluding expression, such as facilitates cultural homogenisation, to avoid unintended positive connotations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex sentences is handled accurately, and minor punctuation or phrasing lapses do not affect clarity.
Refine comma placement around non-essential clauses and introductory elements to make already strong sentence control more polished.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some parts of the world traditional festivals and celebrations have disappeared or are disappearing. What problems is this causing? What measures could be taken to counter this situation?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.