Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.
Sample Response
It is common for a student to take a gap yeara gap-year in a foreign country or even work for a year prior to university. Whether a student should engage in travelling or working before embarking on a formal qualification has been a topic of debate for manyvarious years. Firstly, theFirstly the advantages of such activities will be discussed, followed by the economic disadvantagesall the economical disadvantages students may encounterone encounters duringon such endeavours.
The benefits of resisting university for a year to travel or work open the students mind to new worlds, such as having responsibility at work or learning a new language abroad. Having spent a year in Australia prior to university I learnt how to look for work, become responsible with finances and other essential life skills such as cooking.
Upon enteringstarting university various tasks such as money management and finding employment were second natureand employment were second nature therebythus allowing more time for their studiesmore time for studies. Without having gone abroad, universityabroad university life would undoubtedly be more challenging.
The disadvantages are mainly cost related, the airfare, travel insurance, national insurance and personal living costs are large sums. However, findingHowever finding another opportunity to go abroad is difficult once a normal routinethe pattern of normal life is resumed.
In addition, it is alsoIn addition it also an opportunity to experiment with different jobs before choosing a career path at universitychoosing a career at university. Therefore there is a considerable advantage toof taking a year out before higher education.
To conclude, the main disadvantages are the costs involved; however,costs involved, however the benefits dramatically outweigh the disadvantages. Time should be spent wisely as it can never be recoveredrecuperated unlike money which can be spent and earned.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response's strongest feature is its clear preference for a gap year, supported by a relevant personal example and practical points about life skills and costs. The main limitation is substantial task coverage: it discusses travelling or working but does not examine the advantages and disadvantages of going directly to university. The highest-priority improvement is to add a balanced, developed comparison of that second approach before refining recurring language errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response develops benefits and costs of a gap year but only partially answers the task because the direct-to-university approach is not discussed.
Devote developed points to the advantages and disadvantages of immediate university study and compare them with taking a gap year.
Coherence and Cohesion
The central line of argument is understandable, but short fragmented paragraphs and a late return to advantages weaken progression.
Group all gap-year advantages together, follow them with disadvantages, and create parallel sections for the university-first approach.
Lexical Resource
The response attempts a useful range of topic vocabulary, but recurrent inaccurate collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as resisting university, economical disadvantages, and recuperated time with accurate, idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence forms show some variety, but missing words, possessive errors, and comma splices recur across the response.
Proofread clause boundaries, possessives, articles, and required verbs so complex sentences remain accurate as well as clear.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people think high school graduates should travel or work for a period of time instead of going directly to study at university. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of both approaches.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.