People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Sample Response
A growing number of men and women are choosingThere are growing numbers of men and women choosing to have children later in life these days. In my opinion, the financial advantages of this trend far outweigh any perceived downsides.
The most significant drawbacks of this trend involve lost opportunities and delayed maturitytradeoffs of this relate to opportunity and maturity. Many individuals decide early in their careersearly on in their career to wait until their mid to late 30s to have children. The mainnatural risk here is that if the relationship ends before that point or they then have trouble conceiving, they may end up childless. This riskpossibility is lower today due to advances in fertility science but still exists. Furthermore, having children is a maturing experience. If an individual waits until late in life to raise a child, then they delay gaining this experiencethey delay the experience gained and may later regret their decision. Most parents would openly admit that parenthood is a life-altering milestone and defining moment of adulthood.
Nonetheless, the disadvantages detailed above pale in comparison to the economic merits of delaying childbirth. Firstly, most young parents are not in an ideal stage in their careersideal situation in their career. Many working parents earn low salaries and work long hours. Once they have a child, this meansOnce they have a child that means the majority of their day is occupied and they may feel trapped and overburdened. It is then difficult to switch careers or move to a new location and to affordas well as afford all the expenses associated with parenthoodexpenses incumbent on parents. This often results in parents becoming resentful and directing their resentment towardsprojecting their animosity towards their children or significant other. In contrast, parents who are firmly established in their careers, earn decent salaries, and have savings set aside have both the time and energy to devote to raising their children well without having to stress about making ends meet.
In conclusion, despite marginal risks concerning the opportunity and experience, it is an overall positive for financial reasons that many prospective parents are putting off childbirth. Therefore, this trend should be welcomed and encouraged.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear, sustained judgement and develops both the risks and the financial benefits with strong logical progression and generally precise language. Its main limitation is that some claims, particularly about resentment and the maturity gained through parenthood, are asserted rather broadly. The highest-priority improvement is to qualify these generalisations and support the comparison with a more concrete, carefully explained example.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The question is fully addressed through a clear position and well-developed consideration of disadvantages and stronger financial advantages.
Qualify the broader claims about parental resentment and maturity with a specific example or more cautious reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas are sequenced logically across well-focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices guide the comparison smoothly.
Make the internal progression of the advantages paragraph even sharper by signalling the move from career constraints to family wellbeing.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas effectively, with only occasional slightly awkward collocations.
Replace less natural phrases such as expenses incumbent on parents with simpler idiomatic alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex structures is used accurately, and the few lapses do not impede communication.
Refine occasional awkward coordination, particularly where several actions or consequences are joined in one sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People nowadays tend to have children at older ages. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.