It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Sample Response
The assertion that individuals should marryembrace matrimony before reaching the age of 30 as the best route to personal and societal well-beingas a panacea for personal and societal prosperity warrants scrutiny. While proponents extol the virtues of early marriage in fostering stability and societal cohesion, a nuanced analysis reveals multifaceted implications that go beyond this simple claimtranscend simplistic narratives.
Advocates contend that early marriage promotes stabilityacts as a cornerstone for stability, arguing that it can bringpositing that it begets financial security, emotional resilience, and a solid familial foundation. This, they argue, contributes to the overalloverarching well-being of society by fostering a network of stable families. However, a myopic focus on early matrimony disregards the complex process of personal developmentintricate tapestry of personal development, which often continues well into one’s thirties.
Encouraging individuals to marry before they have fully explored their personal and professional potential risks stifling individual growth. Furthermore, an undue emphasis on early marriage may paradoxically contribute to higher divorce rates, undermining the very stability it seeks to promote. Society, in turn, grapples with the consequencesrepercussions of fractured families and strained social bonds.
In conclusion, while the idea of early marriage has its proponents, a carefuljudicious examination underscores the necessity of allowing individuals the time and freedom to choose their own pathschart their personal trajectories before committing to a lifelong partnership.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response presents a clear, nuanced opposition to encouraging marriage before thirty, and its strongest features are controlled organization and sophisticated language. Its main limitation is substantial underlength, which leaves the central claims about personal development, divorce, and social consequences asserted rather than adequately demonstrated. The highest priority is to add specific explanation or examples that show why delayed marriage produces better individual and societal outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is maintained and relevant reasons are offered, but the underlength response develops them only briefly.
Extend the argument with concrete evidence or examples linking personal readiness and divorce risk to outcomes for individuals and society.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas follow a logical progression from the opposing view to the writer's position, and paragraphing is controlled.
Strengthen the connection between the personal-development argument and the later societal consequences rather than moving quickly between claims.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is wide-ranging and precise overall, though some highly ornate phrasing makes the argument feel less natural.
Prefer direct academic wording where elaborate expressions such as panacea or intricate tapestry add style without sharpening meaning.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentence structures are varied, flexible, and consistently well controlled throughout the response.
Maintain this accuracy while expanding the essay, using a few shorter sentences to emphasize the central reasoning.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
It is sometimes said that people should be encouraged to get married before they are 30, as this is the best for the individual and for society. To what extent do you agree or disagree with the above statement?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.