With the development of communication technology, such as smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices, some people think the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Individuals are utilising high-tech tools such as modern mobile phones to keep in touch with others. However, some argueopine that this leads to more downsides than benefits. Personally, I am partly disagree with this viewpartly against this idea because communication technology helps maintain people’s relationships with others and makes their work more efficient, although there are times when their work and personal life cannot be balanced.
The primary reason why I do not completely concur with the opinion that people using mobile devices brings more demerits than merits is that the bond between people can be strengthened. Many people have had to migrate to other cities or countriescounties to work and study, making it impossible for them to see their family and friends easily. A smartphone, for example, allows them to make video calls to their loved onesgive their loved ones video calls to share their experiences regardless of time and distance.
Another point supporting my stance is that communication devices increase people’s work efficiency. For one thing, bosses can communicate with their employees, discussing urgent mattersemergency cases using their portable devices when they are on business trips. For another, employees can also reply promptly to their clients’ emailsreply to their clients’ emails in time even if they are on public transport or on vacationpublic transport or vacation.
However, I believe it is also reasonable to argue thatit is also reasonable that such technology may blur the boundary between people’s work and private life. Although employees’ normal working hours are from nine to five, they may need to attend business dinners and email clients after work. Therefore, they will lose a large amount of personal time that can and should be spent with their family, such as cleaning the house and looking after children.
In conclusion, I do not totally agree that the enhancement of communication technologies results in more benefits than downsides. This is because people can maintain sound relationships with others and work with higher efficiency. I admit that workers may find it difficult to balance their work and life when using communication devicesbecause of using communication devices, but this can be resolved if they properly organise their workjob tasks.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest when it develops two concrete benefits of mobile communication with relevant, easy-to-follow examples. Its main limitation is that the conclusion reverses the comparison stated in the introduction, making the final position less consistent despite the body’s generally clear stance. The highest priority is to state one precise degree of disagreement and preserve that same comparison from thesis through conclusion.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the question and develops relevant advantages and a disadvantage, but the final comparison conflicts with the stated position.
Rewrite the conclusion so it consistently says whether the disadvantages outweigh the advantages and to what extent.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through focused paragraphs, and cohesive devices make the argument easy to follow.
Use slightly less formulaic signposting and make the final paragraph connect more precisely to the thesis.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally appropriate, although several collocations such as giving video calls are unnatural.
Prioritise natural collocations, for example making video calls and replying promptly to emails.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used with good control, while occasional agreement and phrasing errors do not impede meaning.
Check subject-verb agreement in long noun phrases and revise awkward constructions such as because of using communication devices.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
With the development of communication technology, such as smartphones, tablets, and other mobile devices, some people think the disadvantages outweigh its advantages. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.