Compared to previous generations, more people are travelling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Sample Response
It is an clear trendirrefutable fact that the many peoplemajority of individuals are travelling to different countries for vacations in this modern eracontemporary epoch. From my perspective, I believe that it is a positive trendconstructive movement. This essaytreatise will elucidate the main reasons fornumerous aspects behind this trendmassive transition and my viewoptimistic certitude that it is a noteworthy change with relevant examplescredible illustrations.
To explain this trendScrutinizing the given assertion and elaborating further, nowadays, people prefer to visit foreign nations for holidays, and this trend is increasing swiftly. The first and foremost reason behind this change is that people desirethe public desire to explore new destinations in every nook and corner of the world. They wish to travel to as many countries as possible and want to post regarding these destinations on social media platformson the social media applications such as Instagram and Facebook. AdditionallySubsequently, taking long trips is a remarkable way to relieve stress. Moreover, some adventureadventurous sports are available onlyprevail merely in a few locations, and travellers are willingthey are ready to fly miles to experience such activities. To exemplify, skydiving is available in the UAEin UAE and does not exist in other Asian nations. Consequently, they visit Dubai to share this adventure. Hence, the public is highly fascinated with visiting international locations.
Turning to the benefitsProbing ahead with the pros, the economy of the country is rising enormously because of the growth in the tourism industry. For instance, the Maldives is renownedprominent for its exotic beaches and breathtaking spots. The majority of the population who stay here are tourists. As a result, the overall economy of Maldives is completely dependent on tourists. Similarly, the livelihood of local people is substantially improved. The indigenous craftsmen produce souvenirs, and a plethora of travellers purchase these products as a token of remembrance of that place. With an increase in visitor population, these regional dwellers live self-sufficient life and face minimal monetary crises. Thus, the tourism industry is fruitful not only for the government but also for the residents.
Taking everything into consideration, the tourism industry is evolving massively, with a myriad of individuals taking trips throughout the globe to post snaps on the internet, relax and face new adventures. Additionally, it is beneficial for the authorities in terms of financial stability and local dwellers whose life depends on visitors.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response answers both questions directly, sustains a positive view, and develops its reasons and economic benefits through relevant examples. Its organisation is clear, but the language is repeatedly over-elaborate, and several ambitious expressions are unnatural or imprecise, which weakens an otherwise persuasive argument. The highest-priority improvement is to favour concise, idiomatic vocabulary and verify that examples and claims are stated with precise, credible wording.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts are addressed with a clear position, developed reasons, and relevant illustrations, although a few claims are broad or overstated.
Qualify sweeping claims and explain more precisely how each example proves the stated reason or benefit.
Coherence and Cohesion
The four-paragraph structure gives the response clear progression, and ideas within each paragraph are logically sequenced despite some formulaic transitions.
Replace elaborate transition phrases with simpler links that express the exact relationship between ideas.
Lexical Resource
A wide vocabulary is attempted successfully in places, but overstatement and several unnatural collocations reduce precision and flexibility.
Choose restrained, idiomatic terms and check collocations instead of relying on ornate synonyms for common ideas.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex sentences with generally clear control, though recurring article, agreement, and noun-phrase errors remain.
Proofread complex sentences for articles, determiner use, and agreement, especially around collective nouns and singular countable nouns.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Compared to previous generations, more people are travelling overseas for holidays. Why is this? Is this a positive or negative trend?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.