People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What can be done to make people drink less?
Sample Response
People are consuming more and more sugar-based drinks such as soft drinks or energy drinkssoft or energy drinks. I will discuss a number of reasons for this as well as several ways to encourage people to reduce their consumption of such drinks.
There are two main reasons why sugar-based drinks are consumed in large quantitiesamounts everyday. Firstly, such drinks provide an energy boostprovide extra energy, increase alertnessincrease mental alertness and help consumers to maintain a high level of concentrationhigh concentration necessary for their work. Most modern jobs are becoming increasingly demandingmore and more demanding and require people to make a greater effortspend greater effort to succeed, which consequently leads toconsequently leading to the popularity of sugar-based drinks. Secondly, the increased consumption of sugar-based drinks is linked to consumers’ lack of awareness ofconsumers’ lack of awareness and knowledge of a healthy diet and lifestyle as well as the prevalence of fast fooddominance of fast food in the food industry. That is why sedentary lifestyles and convenient but nutrient-poor meals accompanied bynutrient-poor meals which include sugar-based drinks like Coca-Cola or Pepsi are being favored by a large number of people.
Although reducing the consumption of sugar-based drinks is a complex task, there are a few measures that could be takenways that could be done to discourage people from consumingusing those drinks regularly. One measureinstance is to impose higher taxes on the production and distribution of sugar-based drinks, thereby increasing their pricewhich inevitably increases their price. This may reduce the quantity ofhave an effect on the amount of such drinks being consumed. Another thing is that there should be more educational campaignseducational propagation campaigns that encourage people to follow healthy dietary guidelines and adopt healthier lifestylesfollow healthy dietary guidelines and lifestyles and to refrain from using sugar-based drinks.
In conclusion, the problem of people having more and more sugar-based drinks is caused by a number of factors as discussed in the essay. Increasing taxes on sugar-based drinks and running propagation campaigns to raise consumers’ awareness of their health are two feasible solutions to combat thissuch problem.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is strongest in its clear structure and direct coverage of both the causes of rising sugary-drink consumption and possible remedies. Its main limitation is that several claims remain general or only briefly justified, while a few unnatural word choices reduce precision. The highest-priority improvement is to develop each cause-and-solution link with a more specific explanation or example and use more natural collocations.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both parts of the task are answered with relevant causes and feasible solutions, although some supporting explanations remain general.
Develop each main point with a specific causal explanation or concrete example showing why it would increase or reduce consumption.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically through causes and solutions, with clear paragraphing and generally effective linking.
Use a wider range of less mechanical transitions and make the link between each claim and its consequence more explicit.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic vocabulary conveys the ideas precisely overall, despite several awkward collocations such as educational propagation campaigns.
Replace unnatural combinations with idiomatic choices such as public health campaigns, make a greater effort, and reduce consumption.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex sentences are used with generally good control, and the occasional article, modifier, or phrasing error does not impede meaning.
Proofread complex clauses for article use and natural grammatical patterns, especially constructions such as ways that could be used.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
People are having more and more sugar-based drinks. What are the reasons? What can be done to make people drink less?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.