Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor.
Sample Response
It is argued that a person's appearancethe way a person looks playshas a crucial role in how successful they are in education, their job and even their personal life. This essay totally disagrees with that notion because most people achieve success through hard work and talent and it will also argue that thinking that outward appearance is a determining success factor is a very negative thing. Many highly successful peopleThe most successful people in the modern world achieved their positionsgot there because of their drive, determination, intellect and raw talent. In other words,That is to say that inner qualities are what matterit is what is inside that counts, not how one looks, and these inner traits are farmuch more important than a person's physical attractivenesshow attractive a person is. Larry Page, Mark Zuckerberg, Warren Buffet and Bill Gates are some of the most successful people, in their careersin all aspects of their lives, but none of them reached the top because they were well groomed, knewknow much about fashion or were born with strikinglystriking good looks. Believing that it is outward appearance, rather than character, that mattersthe outside, rather than the inside, that counts is a harmful beliefa very dangerous idea because it often makes a person vacuous and shallowleads to a very vacuous and shallow person. That means that if you believe that beauty is the most important thing, you will often have little inner substancehave nothing to show inside and also judge other people byon their looks, rather than their talents. For example, my son is very handsome, but I discourage people from complimenting him on his appearancetelling him that because I do not want him to grow up thinking that good looks are more important than hard workbeing good looking is more important than hard work or developing his intellect and moral characterdeveloping his intellect and morals. In conclusion, how a person looks to others has no bearing on their success, in comparison to their character and to think otherwise is a huge drawback for a person because relying on your looks will only get a person so far in life, but never to the top.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response answers both parts directly, sustains a firm position, and supports its reasoning with specific, persuasive examples and a notably wide vocabulary. Its main limitation is presentation as one continuous paragraph, which obscures the otherwise clear movement from the first argument to the second and the conclusion. The highest priority is to separate these stages into purposeful paragraphs while retaining the concise development and strong lexical precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both the disagreement and the negative evaluation are addressed directly through well-developed reasoning and specific supporting examples.
Refine the first example by connecting success across education, careers, and relationships even more explicitly to the task's stated spheres.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument follows a clear internal sequence, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph substantially weakens structural clarity and readability.
Create separate introduction, body, and conclusion paragraphs, with one body paragraph for each main reason.
Lexical Resource
A wide and precise vocabulary conveys nuanced ideas naturally, including effective expressions such as 'drive, determination, intellect' and 'vacuous and shallow'.
Polish the few awkward combinations, such as 'a determining factor in success', while preserving the response's strong lexical range.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide variety of complex structures is used with strong control, and the few errors do not impede communication.
Check parallel structure and tense consistency in lists, particularly the sequence 'were well groomed, knew much about fashion, or were born'.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Physical appearance may play an important role in many spheres of life: in the person’s success in school, in relationships with people, in the choice of a career path. Say whether you agree or disagree with it, and if you see it as a positive or negative factor.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.