In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
In many countries, the manner in which students conduct themselves in school is quite distressing. There are numerous factors behindreasons behind this development that have led to such alarming behavior in young peoplechildren, especially adolescents. In the following paragraphs, I will elaborate on the causes and possible solutions to this issuesolutions to tackle this issue.
To begin with, children lack proper awareness of the risksdiversions around them due to a lack of adult supervision. For example, since most parents are working professionals who do not have the time to teach their children right from wrongeducate their children on the good and bad, these young people crave attention and easily go astray. Additionally, unbridled access to social media and video games exposes them to violent content that they may imitateviolent activities that are imitated by them to gain attention from their peersstand out among their mates. Further, excessive pressure caused byexcessive pressure created due to academic competition and societal comparisons forceforces some students to act out. For instance, students either become depressedgo into depression due to demotivation or become hostilevicious towards classmates who are better than them. Therefore, these factors, coupled with unhealthy lifestyles and peer pressure, tend to make students unruly, which is reflected in their behaviouretiquette at school.
There are several measures that can be taken by adultstaken by the elders to manage the misconduct of students at school and at home. Firstly, parents, irrespective of their busy schedules, should take time to support their childrenlook after their wards. For instance, spouses should share household choresdivide their chores among themselves and interact with the children before bedtime, and occasionally, make them feel special through various activities. Secondly, involving grandparents in the upbringing of the child can provide children with companionship and help both generations learngive both company and help them to learn from each other. Thirdly, teachers should be careful not to compare the students, as each child has unique capabilities and may not achieve the same resultsthing. Lastly, both family members and teachers should control access to the internet and violent gamesthe internet or cruel games that might affect the child’s psyche.
To sum up, guardians or parents should praise students for their effortsmotivate the students for their efforts and take care of their surroundings so that external influences or unhealthy lifestylesbad lifestyle do not affect their demeanor and make them ill-tempered.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response addresses both causes and solutions with a clear structure and several relevant supporting points, especially the links between adult supervision, media exposure, academic pressure, and school conduct. Its main limitation is recurring imprecision in vocabulary and some loosely expressed causal claims; the highest-priority improvement is to use more natural collocations and develop each cause-solution link with sharper, more specific explanation.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses both parts with several relevant causes and practical solutions that are generally developed and supported.
Make the causal reasoning more precise and show more explicitly how each proposed measure addresses a particular cause.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through a clear introduction, causes paragraph, solutions paragraph, and conclusion, with effective overall paragraphing.
Reduce formulaic sequencing and organise the longer body paragraphs around more tightly connected clusters of ideas.
Lexical Resource
The response shows a good range of topic vocabulary, though recurring awkward collocations and imprecise choices reduce naturalness.
Replace expressions such as “awareness of the diversions” and “cruel games” with more precise, idiomatic wording.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is used with generally good control, and errors rarely impede meaning.
Check agreement, articles, parallel structures, and pronoun reference carefully to remove the remaining local errors.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In many countries, schools have severe problems with student behavior. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.