With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes.
Sample Response
First, until all urgent and important global issuesmatters of the globe have been solved, money spentbumped on space exploration is meaningless. It is not common sensenot a common sense at all to invest millions of dollars researching and producing foodfoods for astronauts (for the purpose of space explorationfor space exploration purpose), while every day thousands of people are starving. Furthermore, the explorationdiscovery of outer space only serves a smallminor group of people if the majority are not even well educatedeven not well-educated. Those in rural areas or third-world nations do notno even know how to prevent common life-threatening diseasescommon threatening diseases such as AIDS and lung cancer.
HoweverThen, some may argue that the purposespurpose of space exploration are to discover new placeslands, new energy resources or to deter potential threatsthreat to the globeto globe. Nevertheless, is it effective to do so while other alternatives are available? Lands on Earth are not yetearth are no yet effectively used. New energy resources (e.g. solar and nuclear energy) have not yet been widely usedwidely-used. The threat of plaguesThreats of plagues have not yet been deterred. All of these tasks that haven’t been tackled yet require money. That is why costly space exploration programmesspace discovery programs are a waste of resources.
In a nutshell, people should only invest in space exploration provided that the urgentprovided that urgent and important matters mentioned earlier in this essay have been solved. Also, the purposesAlso, purposes of space exploration campaigns should be studied carefully and other alternatives should be considered before money is spentbefore the money is wasted.
This is a very good essay, well done.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response presents a clear, consistent case and progresses logically from immediate social needs to alternatives to space investment. Its main limitation is that development is compressed by the slightly short length, while recurring collocation and grammar problems reduce precision; the final evaluative sentence is also irrelevant to the essay. The priority is to expand one central argument with specific support and proofread for natural word choice and agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear position is supported by relevant arguments, but the response is slightly under length and some claims receive limited explanation.
Remove the irrelevant closing comment and use the available space to develop one argument with a concrete, fully explained example.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically across focused paragraphs, with clear movement from social priorities to possible alternatives and a conclusion.
Use referencing and transitions more naturally instead of relying on overt sequencing words such as First and Then.
Lexical Resource
There is a reasonably broad topic vocabulary, though several inaccurate or unnatural combinations weaken precision.
Prioritise natural collocations, replacing expressions such as money bumped on exploration and threatening diseases with precise alternatives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied sentence structures, but recurring article, agreement, plural, and form errors remain noticeable.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement, articles, and singular-plural consistency in every sentence.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
With all the problems in the world today, spending money on space exploration is a complete waste. The money could be better spent on other causes.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.