Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Sample Response
Education is a major concern in most countries, which determines young people’s life prospects and the whole social development. While some educationalists argue thateducationalists suppose all young people aged under 18 should remain in schoolshould receive school education, I largely disagree with this viewI can hardly approve of this opinion.
Admittedly, achieving universal school education for all people under 18among all under-18 youngsters, to some extent, hasexerts a positive impact on both students and society as a wholeboth the students and the whole society. For one thing, school education provides chances for the young generation to become adequate for future practical work, after being systematically equipped with sufficient knowledge and skills in a learning community. For another, it is more literate young people in the society that help to guarantee the social stability, since juvenile delinquency is largely caused by idle adolescents, who have been out of school from an early age. More broadly,After all, young people who have attended schoolthe youngsters who have received school education are athe driving force for social progress.
However, not all young people should be forced to attend schoolattend school education until the age of 18until 18 years old. Some students are not academically capable and they are eager to leave school because they find the curriculum unengagingthey are eager to get rid of boring school curricula as early as possible to pursue their own dreams in other fields. In other words, school education may deprive them of the basic rightrights to pursue personal developmentrealize self-development, which may even lead to rebellion and strong aversion. Furthermore, the financial burden is another obstacle which cannot be ignored. Paying tuition fees for at least 18-year-period education is unaffordable foris not affordable for all young individuals and their families. Therefore, taking the economic conditions into consideration, young people from disadvantaged familiesthe youth from disadvantaged families are more willing to enter the workforce earlierbe engaged in the work earlier, rather than continue a longer period of high-level school education.
In conclusion, the original intention of mandatory school education before adulthood is definitely beneficial to the young generation and the society, but the policy implementation must take the feasibility into account, to guarantee the ultimate effect.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its clear paragraph structure and substantial attempt to examine both the social benefits of schooling and reasons for allowing exceptions. Its main limitation is that the stated disagreement becomes qualified and less decisive in the conclusion, while the tuition argument also confuses remaining in school until 18 with paying for eighteen years of education; the priority is to clarify the exact position and support it with logically accurate reasoning.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
The response addresses the issue and develops both perspectives, but its degree of disagreement is not fully consistent and one major example is logically flawed.
State precisely which students should be exempt and replace the eighteen-year tuition claim with an accurate, relevant affordability argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay has clear overall progression, focused paragraphs, and generally effective signposting despite somewhat formulaic linking.
Use more implicit connections between ideas and ensure the conclusion resolves the position established in the introduction.
Lexical Resource
There is a good range of topic vocabulary, but recurring awkward collocations reduce precision and naturalness.
Replace expressions such as become adequate for work and attend school education with natural, context-specific collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A variety of complex structures is attempted successfully, though recurring problems with phrasing, complementation, and modifier forms remain noticeable.
Improve control of age expressions, parallel verb patterns, and noun modifiers, especially in longer sentences.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Everyone should stay in school until they reach the age of 18. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.