In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Sample Response
Some young people havefind themselves with very little leisure time. I believe there are two main causes of this situation. The first is parental pressure and the second is competition for university places. Many parentsEvery parent wants to see his or her child do well in school and go on to have a successful career. This means that they exert pressure on their children to spend hours each day studying at home. Some even arrange extra tuition for their children. In my own country, it is not uncommon for young people to spend an additional three hours studying at small private schoolsanother three hours at small private schools after their usual day at regularstale school is over. As a consequence, their leisure time is extremely limited and the pressure on them is considerable. The second cause is related to the higher education system. Each year, there are many more university applicants than available placesmany times more applicants to university than there are university places. The result of this is that only those students with very high grades manage to obtain a place. This contributes to the pressure on teenagers since they must work long hours to have any chance of success. One solution to the problem is for parents to be made aware of the effects of placing excessive pressure on their childreneffects of the pressure they put on their children. Schools should inform parents that too much pressure can lead to anxiety, stress and depression. They should be shown how to helpways in which they can help their children lead more balanced lives with a reasonable amount of leisure time. Another effective measure would be for the government to fund the creation ofinvest in the creation of more university places. This could be done by expanding existing universities or by building new ones. This would have the effect of easing competition for places, giving teenagersplaces giving teenagers some of their precious free timelime back.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response directly and convincingly explains two causes and pairs them with practical, well-developed solutions, maintaining a clear line of reasoning throughout. Its main limitation is presentation: the entire essay forms one paragraph, while a few apparent slips such as “stale school” and “free lime” interrupt an otherwise polished style. The priority is to separate the introduction, causes, and solutions into purposeful paragraphs and proofread the final draft.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes are clearly identified and developed, and each proposed solution directly addresses the corresponding source of pressure.
Add a brief concluding synthesis to reinforce how the proposed measures jointly restore a healthier balance for young people.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically through causes and solutions with effective referencing, but the absence of paragraph breaks limits structural clarity.
Organise the response into distinct introduction, causes, solutions, and conclusion paragraphs while preserving the current logical sequence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and natural across education, competition, and wellbeing, aside from two conspicuous word slips.
Proofread carefully for accidental substitutions so isolated errors do not distract from otherwise accurate lexical choices.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses a wide range of complex structures with consistently clear and accurate control.
Refine punctuation around supplementary and result clauses to make already sophisticated sentences even easier to process.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
In some countries young people have little leisure time and are under a lot of pressure to work hard in their studies. What do you think are the causes of this? What solutions can you suggest?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.