Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?
Sample Response
Some people do not have any pets in their house, except for unwanted ones such as a racoon or mouse. These people think that there is no place for animals in their homesplaces. However, other people have animals such as dogs, cats, and birds as members of their familiesanimals such as dogs, cats, and birds in their families and they have a close relationship with their pets. Personally, I am one of those peoplebelong to the people who treat their pets as members of their family. For several reasons, which I will mention belowbellow, I think that such relationships between people and animalsbetween a man and an animal bring many benefits.
First of all, when people treat their pets as members of their families, it meansfamilies it means that they feel responsibleresponsibilities for their little ones. As a result, peopleAs a result of this people care about their pets' health, their diet and physical conditiondiet and shape, and I think both sides benefit from this kind of relationshiprelationships. People do not feel alone and pets are in good hands. Personally, I think that pets give people a great opportunity to feel needed by these small yet courageous animalsto feel they are needed by these little but at the same time very courageous animals. SecondlySecond of all, pets teach people, especially children, kindness and devotion. Children grow up kinder, more attentive and friendlier. Finally, pets are oftenFinally, often pets are the closest and most devoted friends of people and I am sure that we reciprocate their affectionreturn them the same feelings. I think it is great and makes everyone a little bit happier. For example, when I was a child, my familywhen I was a child my family had a beautiful cat named "Nikola". We loved him very much and treatedtreat him as a member of our family. So, when he died, wewhen he died we could not get used to the fact that he was not home. It felt as thoughIt was the feeling like we lost a member of our familylost some of our family. Since then we did not have the cat. Now my parents have a bird and a couple of golden fish.
In conclusion, I think that pets play a very important role in our everyday life. There are plenty of examples when animals saved people's lives and helped us in ourout fight with evil such as drugs and violence. So, I believe that our pets deserve the best we can offer them our love and devotion.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives an unequivocal opinion and supports it with several relevant benefits, with the personal example adding genuine illustration. Its effectiveness is reduced by packing all supporting ideas into one long paragraph, using several imprecise expressions, and making frequent grammatical slips; the conclusion also introduces claims that were not developed earlier. Prioritise grouping related reasons into focused paragraphs and editing sentences for accurate form and natural phrasing.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
A clear positive position is maintained and supported with relevant reasons and a personal example, although the final claims about drugs and violence are undeveloped.
Develop fewer benefits more fully and ensure the conclusion synthesizes only ideas established in the main discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
The argument is easy to follow and uses clear sequencing, but several distinct reasons are crowded into one long body paragraph.
Separate companionship, children's development, and the personal example into focused paragraphs with clearer internal progression.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate and sometimes varied, but recurring spelling errors and unnatural collocations reduce precision.
Revise expressions such as "feel responsibilities," "return them the same feelings," and "fight with evil" into natural English.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms communicates the ideas, but errors in agreement, tense, articles, punctuation, and noun forms occur regularly.
Check each sentence for subject-verb agreement and consistent tense, particularly in the childhood anecdote.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people have a close relationship with their pets. These people treat their birds, cats, or other animals as members of their family. In your opinion, are such relationships good? Why or why not?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.