Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?
Sample Response
It is clearirrefutable that today we are flooded with information about everything. The youth of today know about global celebritiescelebs but are increasingly ill-informedill informed about their own historical figurespersonalities. This essay shall analyse why this is happening and suggest some measures to generatehappening, and also suggest some measures, to generate their interest in historical events and people. The first and major reason for this is that the education system in most countriesmost of the countries is test-based. Students are taught primarily to achieve good gradesonly taught to get good grades and as a result, they only focus on passing their exams, rather than gaining knowledge about any topic. Their interest is never developed in history and heroes of our past. On top of that, the youth today is more fascinated bytowards celebritiesthe celebrities because of the exposure and importance the media gives to them. Furthermore, most of the families have now started living in nuclear setups, where both the parents are working, and because of this the children’s education about their roots and history has taken a back seat.
There are many methods that can be used by parents, schools and the media to develop the interest of youngsters in knowing about the famous people from history. SchoolsThe schools can incorporate technology into their teaching methodsincorporate technology in teaching methods, such aslike the use of audio-visual aids. Educational trips to museums and significant historical sitesfamous historical places also help develop the children’s interest. The government should set up museums and encourage children to visit them by heavily subsidizing student ticketshighly subsidizing tickets for the students. For example, the Shaheed Bhagat Singh Museum has become a great source of information about the freedom struggle and the sacrifices made by freedom fighters. Also, the Virasat-e-Khalsa museum has become very popular among the youth as they can learn a lot about Sikh history and culture. Moreover, TV shows and movies can be made about famous historical figuresmade around famous historical personalities and their contributions. For instance, the recent Bollywood movie Bajirao Mastani hasBajirao Mastani, has been a major successa super hit at the box office and has made a lot of people more aware ofabout historical events and characters. TV channels such as the History Channel have showsTV channels like History channel has shows which run throughout the day, giving information about famous people and events from history. To conclude, there are several innovative and creative methods that can be used to make the youth more interested in and aware of notable peopleinterested and aware about the notable people from history. This effort has to be made by parents, at schools and media also has a big role to play in spreading this awareness.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response addresses both parts thoroughly, with a particularly strong range of practical measures supported by relevant examples. Its main limitation is that several distinct ideas are crowded into two very long paragraphs, while recurring collocation and agreement errors reduce polish. The highest priority is to separate causes, solutions, and the conclusion more clearly, then edit for natural word combinations and subject-verb agreement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both causes and solutions are directly addressed, developed with explanation, and supported by specific, relevant examples.
Strengthen the causal analysis by explaining more precisely how each factor reduces young people's knowledge of national historical figures.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically and cohesive devices guide the reader, although the two body sections are excessively long and contain several distinct points.
Use separate paragraphs for the main causes, the principal solutions, and the conclusion to make the progression easier to follow.
Lexical Resource
A broad vocabulary conveys the arguments clearly, but several combinations such as fascinated towards and develop the interest are unnatural.
Revise recurring collocations and article choices so that otherwise effective vocabulary sounds consistently natural and precise.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses varied complex structures successfully, though agreement, article, and punctuation errors recur without obscuring meaning.
Proofread systematically for subject-verb agreement and sentence-boundary punctuation, especially in sentences with multiple clauses.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Some people believe that young people know about international pop and movie stars but know very less about famous people from the history in their own country. Why is this? How can more interest be created in young people to gain more knowledge about their own famous people from history?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.