Shopping is the favourite free time activity for many young people today. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time rather than shopping?
Sample Response
Shopping has become a highly popularhighly preferred, if not the most preferred, leisure activity for many young people today. This essay will examine the reasons for this trend and argue that young people should be encouraged to participate in a variety of other activities during their free time.
The rise of mega shopping malls with varieddifferent amenities and the abundance of affordable fashion brands have made it easier and more convenient for young people to indulge in shopping as a pastime. Moreover, the internet has created a platform for fashion and beauty influencers to showcase their lifestyles and market products to impressionable young people, making shopping seem like an aspirational activity. Finally, the pressure to conform to social normsthe pressure to fit in and conform to social norms fuels the desire to keep up with fashion trends and maintain a certain image, thereby encouraging further shoppingwhich encourages more shopping.
However, young people should be encouragedmotivated to explore a variety of activities that can improve their physical, emotional, and social well-being. Engaging in sports, volunteering for charitable organisations, or learning a new skill are just a few examples of fulfilling activities that can provide young people with a sense of purpose and personal growth. These activities can promote physical health, build self-confidence, and foster meaningful relationships with others. For instance, young peopleyouths who get involved in developing skills in their leisure time perform betterleisure time, perform better academically and are better prepared for their future careershave better preparation for their future career.
In conclusion, while shopping may be a popular leisure activity among young people, they need to engage in diverse activities that can contribute to their personal development and well-being. Therefore, young people should be encouraged to explore a range of activities that can bring them joy and enrich their lives.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response is strongest in its direct, well-organised coverage of both questions, explaining commercial, online, and social influences before presenting purposeful alternatives to shopping. Its main limitation is that the final academic-performance claim is broad and the alternatives could be evaluated against shopping more explicitly. The highest-priority improvement is to strengthen the comparison by explaining why the lasting physical, social, or developmental benefits of one alternative outweigh the short-term appeal of shopping.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are fully addressed with relevant, well-developed reasons, a clear position, and suitable examples of alternative activities.
Make the evaluation more explicit by comparing the long-term value of one alternative directly with the benefits and drawbacks of shopping.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from causes to the recommended alternatives and conclusion, with focused paragraphs and effective cohesive links.
Link the two body paragraphs more directly by showing how each proposed activity counters a specific pressure that encourages shopping.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied, precise, and appropriately academic, with effective language for consumer influence, social pressure, and personal development.
Maintain the strong lexical range while avoiding slight repetition of “young people,” “activities,” and “free time” where clear reference is possible.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is used accurately, with only occasional minor punctuation and phrasing errors.
Remove the unnecessary comma separating the subject from its verb in the final body sentence and refine “have better preparation” to a natural form.
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IELTS Writing Task 2
Shopping is the favourite free time activity for many young people today. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time rather than shopping?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.