Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?
Sample Response
The presence of zoos in our cities and towns has been widely questioned recentlyquestioned a lot recently, and opinions differ about whether they provide benefits to people and animals, or whether they should be closed. To begin withInitially, we need to think about the problems associated with zoosnegative issues with zoos. Many people believe it is wrong to remove animals from their natural habitatstake animals out of their natural environment and put them into cages. They believe that this is cruel and is only done to attract visitors and make money. In addition, many people feel that we should not interfere with nature, and if possible, animals should be allowed to stay in their own environment. In terms of alternatives, there are a few available alternativesoptions that we have. Wildlife parks are becoming more popular todayin today’s world. These provide more space for animals to wander around and they offerprovide a habitat that more closely resembles the animals’ natural habitatwhich is more similar to animals’ natural homes. A more permanent solution which would enable us all to see animals in the wild would be for airlines to reduce their ticket prices. If air travel were cheaper, then we would all be able to see wild animals in their natural habitat and there would be no need for zoos in our cities. We should also promote television channelschannels on TV such as National Geographic. On these channelsHere, people can see wildlife as it should be seen. As we can see, zoos are not the only way for humans to see and learn about wild animals. If there were no zoos, it would still be possible for scientists and ordinary people to preserve and experience nature.
Why this response received Band 7.5
The response’s strongest feature is its direct coverage of both questions, offering several distinct alternatives and explaining how each could replace a zoo’s educational or viewing role. The main limitation is that the discussion of zoo-related problems is comparatively narrow and some proposals, especially cheaper air travel, are not critically developed. Prioritise deeper explanation of the harms caused by zoos and justify alternatives with more realistic, specific support.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Response
Both questions are answered with relevant ideas, although the problems section is narrow and the air-travel alternative lacks convincing practical support.
Explain a wider range of zoo-related harms and show more clearly why each proposed alternative would be workable.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses clearly from problems to alternatives and uses cohesive language effectively, but the absence of visible paragraph divisions weakens organisation.
Separate the introduction, problems, alternatives, and conclusion into purposeful paragraphs with clear central topics.
Lexical Resource
A varied and generally precise vocabulary supports the discussion of captivity, habitats, wildlife viewing, and preservation, with only minor repetition.
Reduce repeated words such as provide and choose more exact terms when evaluating the practical value of each alternative.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of complex structures is used accurately and flexibly, with clear control of subordination and conditional forms.
Refine the few awkward comparative and parallel constructions to make otherwise controlled sentences more concise and natural.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Writing Task 2
Many people believe that zoos have no purpose in today’s world and should be closed. What problems do zoos bring? What are the alternatives to zoos if they are closed?
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.