The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation.
Sample Response
The process diagram shows different stages of ACME corporation's recruitment process, commencing from application submission by the prospective candidates, which ends by either offering a permanent position in the company or denying any position at all. As is presented, initially candidates are invited to submit their applications to be considered for the jobs in ACME corporation. Those who apply to this company for a job have to attend an initial qualification interview. The authority distinguishes the candidates who have faced the interview in two categories - 'meet the basic qualification' and 'do not meet the basic qualification'. The applicants of the latter category are disqualified while the candidates who meet the qualifications are further tested. In the next step, the qualifying applicants take an aptitude test, based on which they are either marked as failed or passed. Failed candidates are left out from the recruitment process while the successful applicants are offered a position on a six-moth probation who are evaluated after the probation period. At this stage, a recommendation made either to discard those temporary employees or to offer them permanent positions in the company.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use concise diagram reference Original: As is presented Suggested revision: As shown Why it matters: As shown is the natural concise expression for referring to a diagram.
- 2. Correct company reference Original: for the jobs in ACME corporation Suggested revision: for jobs at ACME Corporation Why it matters: Applications are made for jobs at a company, and the proper name requires capitalization.
- 3. Name the actor clearly Original: authority Suggested revision: company Why it matters: The company is the clear actor conducting and assessing the interview.
- 4. Use category verb Original: distinguishes Suggested revision: divides Why it matters: Divide into categories is the natural construction here.
- 5. Correct interview collocation Original: faced Suggested revision: completed Why it matters: Candidates complete or attend an interview rather than face it in this neutral process description.
- 6. Correct category preposition Original: in Suggested revision: into Why it matters: Divide takes the preposition into before categories.
- 7. Use plural qualifications Original: qualification Suggested revision: qualifications Why it matters: The diagram labels the branch with the plural noun qualifications.
- 8. Match diagram label Original: qualification Suggested revision: qualifications Why it matters: The diagram uses the plural branch label basic qualifications.
- 9. Correct category preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: Applicants are described as being in a category.
- 10. Use natural application order Original: apply to this company for a job Suggested revision: apply for a job at this company Why it matters: Apply for a job at a company is the natural word order.
- 11. Clarify progression Original: are further tested Suggested revision: proceed to further testing Why it matters: The replacement makes the transition to the aptitude test explicit.
- 12. Use correct participant term Original: qualifying Suggested revision: qualified Why it matters: Qualified describes applicants who have already met the basic requirements.
Suggested Rewrites
- As is presented As shown
- for the jobs in ACME corporation for jobs at ACME Corporation
- authority company
- distinguishes divides
- faced completed
- in into
Why this response received Band 7.0
The report gives a clear overview and accurately traces every main branch from application and interview through aptitude testing, probation, evaluation, and either permanent employment or rejection. Its strongest feature is complete process coverage in a concise sequence, while the main limitation is grammatical control in several long passive sentences. The highest priority is to divide the description into clearer stages and correct clause boundaries, verb forms, and modifiers.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response accurately covers the complete process, including both rejection points, probation, evaluation, and the final employment decision.
State explicitly in the overview that applicants can be rejected at three decision points before or after probation.
Coherence and Cohesion
The stages follow the diagram in a clear logical order, though one-block presentation and long final sentences make the branching structure harder to scan.
Use one paragraph for application through aptitude testing and another for probation, evaluation, and final outcomes.
Lexical Resource
A good range of appropriate process vocabulary describes selection and outcomes, with a few awkward or inaccurate combinations.
Use divided into two categories, excluded from the process, placed on probation, and a recommendation is made.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied passive and complex structures are attempted successfully overall, but missing verbs, faulty relative clauses, and modifier errors recur.
Simplify the final sequence into complete sentences and correct six-month probation and a recommendation is made.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.