The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation. ACME Corporation: Recreuitement Process.
Sample Response
The provided flow chart illustrates the process of recruitment at ACME corporation. A quick look at the illustration reveals that there are four major steps overall, three of which will eliminate unsuitable candidates to filter out the deserving candidates for the jobs. Those who are recruited to ACME corporation must possess basic requirements, pass the aptitude test and be recommended after the process of probation evaluation.
Initially, a person must hand in his or her application in order to be eligible for a qualifying interview, which will determine whether candidates meet the basic requirements or be eliminated.
Those advanced will take an aptitude test, which classifies them into two categories - "pass" or "failed". Candidates in the fail category are denied any job positions, just like those who do not meet the basic qualifications. The final important step in the process is the 6-month probation, in which candidates are evaluated. And to be offered a permanent position in the firm, one must be recommended.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Capitalize company name Original: corporation Suggested revision: Corporation Why it matters: Both words in the proper company name should be capitalized.
- 2. Fix collocation Original: possess basic requirements Suggested revision: meet the basic requirements Why it matters: Applicants “meet” requirements rather than possess them.
- 3. Name final stage Original: after the process of probation evaluation Suggested revision: after the six-month evaluation Why it matters: The diagram labels a six-month evaluation after the probationary period.
- 4. Match process sequence Original: eligible for a qualifying interview Suggested revision: proceed to an initial qualifying interview Why it matters: The diagram shows applicants attending the interview directly after submitting an application.
- 5. Fix parallel structure Original: meet the basic requirements or be eliminated Suggested revision: meet the basic requirements; those who do not are eliminated Why it matters: This gives the two outcomes parallel and grammatically complete forms.
- 6. Fix reduced clause Original: Those advanced Suggested revision: Those who advance Why it matters: The active relative clause is required to refer to successful candidates.
- 7. Use parallel labels Original: pass Suggested revision: passed Why it matters: The two outcome labels should use matching grammatical forms.
- 8. Remove weak connector Original: And to be offered Suggested revision: To be offered Why it matters: The final purpose clause does not need the coordinating conjunction “And.”
- 9. Remove redundant modifier Original: provided flow chart Suggested revision: flow chart Why it matters: “Provided” is unnecessary because the task already identifies the displayed diagram.
- 10. Use concise term Original: process of recruitment Suggested revision: recruitment process Why it matters: The compound noun is a more concise and natural description.
- 11. Capitalize company name Original: corporation Suggested revision: Corporation Why it matters: The full proper company name requires capitalization.
- 12. Use formal verb Original: hand in his or her application Suggested revision: submit an application Why it matters: “Submit” is the standard formal verb for the first recruitment step.
Suggested Rewrites
- corporation Corporation
- possess basic requirements meet the basic requirements
- after the process of probation evaluation after the six-month evaluation
- eligible for a qualifying interview proceed to an initial qualifying interview
- meet the basic requirements or be eliminated meet the basic requirements; those who do not are eliminated
- Those advanced Those who advance
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response presents the recruitment sequence clearly, uses an effective overview, and accurately explains the interview, aptitude-test, probation, and recommendation stages. The main limitation is that the unsuccessful outcome after the six-month evaluation is only implied, while several phrases are imprecise or awkward. Prioritise describing every branch explicitly and using parallel, natural wording for pass/fail outcomes.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The main stages and most rejection points are accurately described, but the not-recommended branch after evaluation is not explicitly completed.
State that candidates who are not recommended after the six-month evaluation are not employed, while recommended candidates receive permanent positions.
Coherence and Cohesion
The overview and chronological paragraphs guide the reader logically through the process, with only minor awkward referencing.
Use consistent stage-based transitions and replace vague references such as “Those advanced” with a precise process subject.
Lexical Resource
A sufficiently varied process vocabulary is used, though phrases such as “filter out the deserving candidates” and “denied any job positions” are imprecise.
Choose exact process verbs, for example “screen for suitable candidates,” “proceed to,” and “are not employed.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally well controlled, with occasional errors in parallelism and form that do not impede meaning.
Keep alternative outcomes grammatically parallel, such as “whether candidates meet the requirements or are eliminated” and “pass or fail.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation. ACME Corporation: Recreuitement Process.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.