The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation.

Same questionCompare 3 different answers (Band 7)

Sample Response

1

The flow chart illustrates the stages used byshows the steps followed by ACME Corporationthe ACME Corporation to hirerecruit new employees. OverallA quick glance at the process reveals that an applicant has to succeed at several stagesqualify in different stages to secure permanent employmentto be permanently employed at the companyin this organisation. As is observed, the recruitment process commences with the invitation to prospective candidates to submit their applications. These applicants are then required to attend an initial qualifying interviewcalled for an initial qualifying interview to determine whether they meetwhich determines whether they meet the the basic qualificationsbasic requisites or not. Failing in this interview does not qualify some candidates for any further process, while successful applicants sit for an aptitude test at the next stagein the next level. At the aptitude-test stageAs for the aptitude test, passing the test leads topassing it leads to a six-month probationary positionprobationary job placement for six months but those who fail are then rejected. An evaluation stage is followed by the six-month probation period which determines whether applicants would be offered a permanent position while the non-recommended temporary employees would be discarded from the job.

Overall assessment

Why this response received Band 7.0

The response follows the complete recruitment pathway, including every decision point and rejection branch, and uses precise process vocabulary to make the sequence easy to understand. The main weakness is occasional awkward or ambiguous phrasing, especially the passive sentence about probation and evaluation, which appears to reverse their order. Prioritise unambiguous sequencing language and organise the overview and stages into separate paragraphs.

Band score breakdown

IELTS Writing Criteria Scores

TA

Task Achievement

7.5
Scoring rule

The response accurately covers the process from application through interview, testing, probation, evaluation, and the final employment outcomes.

Next step

State explicitly that the six-month evaluation occurs after probation so the final sequence cannot be misread.

CC

Coherence and Cohesion

6.5
Scoring rule

The stages and alternative outcomes progress logically, but the one-paragraph presentation gives the overview and details insufficient separation.

Next step

Use an introduction and overview paragraph followed by a detail paragraph tracing the successful route and its rejection branches.

LR

Lexical Resource

7.0
Scoring rule

Vocabulary is varied and largely precise for the hiring process, with effective terms such as 'prospective', 'requisites', 'aptitude', and 'probationary'.

Next step

Replace awkward phrases such as 'discarded from the job' and 'in the next level' with 'not employed' and 'at the next stage'.

GRA

Grammatical Range and Accuracy

7.0
Scoring rule

A good range of complex structures is generally well controlled, although a few passive and clause constructions are awkward or ambiguous.

Next step

Use the active sequence 'After six months of probation, candidates are evaluated' to avoid reversing the order of stages.

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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1

The diagram below shows the steps in the hiring process at ACME corporation.

Your response

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20:00

Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.