The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.
Sample Response
The diagram outlines the estimated maximum populationspopulation distribution of elephants in nine Asian countries in 1997 and 2004. Generally speaking, India had the highest number of elephants in both years while the total number of this species declined sharplyharshly declined during the period. As shownAs is presented, roughly 10000 elephants inhabited in India, the highest, which dropped to nearly 7500 in just seven years. Myanmar had the second-highest numbersecond largest number of elephants, just over 5,000over 5000, while China had about 1,000only 1000 elephants in 1997. The figures for both countriesTheir number in both countries declined and only 500 elephants were recorded in China in 2004. Malaysia and Sri Lanka had around 3000 elephants and in just 7 years, the number of elephantselephant in the former country declined to about 1,000as low as 1000. Vietnam and Laos had around a thousand elephants and the figure remained the same in Laos. The only place where the elephant population grewwhere elephant population grew was Cambodia where the figure rose from about 1,300 to 1,500more than a thousand elephants dwelled. Finally, Thailand was home towas the home to approximately 3,700approximately 4 thousand elephants, which dropped to about 1,200just over a thousand over seven yearsin merely 7 years.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a strong, accurate account of the visual, highlighting the overall decline, India's dominant population, and Cambodia as the sole increase while supporting these trends with well-selected country data. The main weakness is awkward language in several otherwise understandable descriptions. Prioritise more natural population collocations and clearer grammatical references so that the precise content is expressed with equal fluency.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report presents a clear overview and accurately selects the most important trends and country comparisons from the chart.
For still fuller coverage, include Myanmar's final figure or Sri Lanka's modest decline to balance the detailed examples.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses coherently through the countries with appropriate comparison, although the single-paragraph format makes the dense detail less accessible.
Separate the overview from two detail paragraphs, grouping the largest declines apart from stable or rising populations.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for describing population change, but several unnatural choices such as 'harshly declined' and 'elephants dwelled' limit precision.
Prefer natural collocations such as 'fell sharply', 'the elephant population', and 'elephants lived in Cambodia'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied sentence structures convey the data clearly, though errors in reference, noun number, and verb complementation occur intermittently.
Revise phrases such as 'elephants inhabited India' and 'the number of elephants', and ensure relative clauses have an unambiguous referent.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the changes in the maximum number of Asian elephants between 1994 and 2007.
Your response
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