The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the proportion of immigrants moving to Australia from the UK, New Zealand, India, Vietnam and Italy in three different years over a 40-year period. It is noticeable that Italy constituted the largest share in 1962 and 2002, although overtaken by Vietnam in 1982. While a steady decline can be seen in the figures for New Zealand and Italy throughoutin the whole period, the other three countries saw a more peaked in 1982 before fallingcomplex fluctuation. Accounting for 40% of total immigration in 1962Accounting for 40% of in 1962, Italy was the largest immigrant source to Australia, which was four times the figurewhich was 4 times the figures for the second largest countrycountries. However, in 1982, Italy fell to second placeAustralia fell to the second place on the list with a drastic drop to 20%, before continuing to dipbefore continuing dipping to 15% but regaining the highest position in 2002. Similarly, New Zealand followed a a more moderate downward trenddownward but more moderate pattern, with its share slidingwith sliding from below 10% in 1962 to slightlyslighlty above 5% in 1982, and finally to 5% in 2002. In contrast, a unimodal patternrise-and-fall trend was observed for the remaining three countriescan be found in the other three countries. The share for India first rose from around 2%The share for India first jumped from below 5% in 1962 to more than 15% in 1982, and then slid to slightly below 15% in 2002. The UK and Vietnam both experienced a steep increase in the first 20 years, from roughly 10% each in 1962 to around 17% and 25% in 1982from 10% in 1962 to above 15% in 1982 and from 10% in 1962 to 25% in 1982 respectively, after which the figures decreased to above 10% and slightly less than 15% in 2002 respectivelyeach.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response effectively organizes data from the chart and presents a clear summary of main trends across the given years. However, occasional accuracy errors, such as confusing Australia with Italy in body descriptions, and missing words slightly reduce overall clarity. Precision in proofreading key terminology and sentence boundaries will yield immediate improvements.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key trends and visual features are highlighted with relevant data, though accuracy suffers from referring to Australia instead of Italy in one sentence.
Ensure all country names and specific data comparisons are carefully cross-checked against the visual key to prevent subject errors.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically grouped into paragraphs with clear overall progression and comparative transitions.
Vary cohesive devices slightly to avoid repetitive linking expressions when contrasting multiple trends.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of trend and percentage vocabulary is used, despite a missing noun in one phrase and minor mechanical slips.
Double-check phrases for missing words to ensure idiomatic expression and noun phrase completeness.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structure attempts is present, but grammatical errors such as missing words and awkward prepositional verb forms occur.
Refine complex clauses involving participial phrases and prepositions to ensure complete grammatical structure.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Your response
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