The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Sample Response
The bar chart compares the proportions of immigrants moving to Australia from the UK, New Zealand, India, Vietnam and Italy in three different years over a 40-year period. It is noticeable that Italy constituted the largest share in 1962 and 2002, although it was overtakenalthough overtaken by Vietnam in 1982. While the figures for New Zealand and Italy decreased overalloverall decreased across the entire period, the percentages for the remaining countries showed a rise and fall patternfluctuated. Accounting for 40% of immigrants in 1962, Italy was the largest source of immigrants to Australia, which was four times the figure for the second-largest country. However, in 1982, Italy fell to the second position on the list with a dramatic drop to 20%, before continuing to dip to 15% but reclaiming the highest position in 2002. Similarly, New Zealand followed a downward but more moderate pattern, sliding from roughly 8% in 1962 to slightly above 5% in 1982, and finally to 5% in 2002. By contrast, a rise and fall Deletetrend, can be found in the other three countries. The share for India first rose from around 2% in 1962 to nearlyabove 15% in 1982, and then slid to around 14%slightly below 15% in 2002. The UK and Vietnam both experienced steep increases between 1962 and 1982 (rising from about 10% to 17% for the UK and to 25% for Vietnam)(rising from around 10% to approximately 17% and 25% respectively) before falling to roughly 12% and 13% by 2002.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents an exceptionally accurate overview and clear comparative analysis of all data points across the given years. Key features are well-grouped and supported by precise figures from the chart. To enhance the essay further, eliminate occasional punctuation slips that slightly disrupt grammatical flow.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and data trends across the three years are accurately highlighted and supported with accurate numerical details.
Maintain this high level of detail by continuing to group contrasting trends logically without missing subtle data points.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into thematic paragraphs with smooth transitions and cohesive devices throughout.
Ensure paragraph divisions remain well-balanced so that comparative sentences flow seamlessly from the main overview.
Lexical Resource
A wide variety of sophisticated vocabulary and accurate task-specific phrasing is used naturally.
Continue utilizing precise statistical vocabulary while taking care to avoid minor repetitive phrasing when describing data trends.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A broad range of complex sentence structures is used with good control, though a minor punctuation error is present.
Proofread carefully to eliminate redundant commas that separate subject phrases from main verbs.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the percentage of immigrants to Australia from five countries in 1962, 1982 and 2002.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.