The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Sample Response
The line graph illustrates changes in numbers of books read by men and womenreading habits of male and female readers at Burnaby Public Library, inat Burnaby public library, in 3 years, starting from 2011. Overall, women read more books than menmales in 2011 at Burnaby Public Library, but the number of books that men read increased throughout the periodcontinually increased as time went by whereas the figure for womenwhile for women, this figure declined after having risen steadily for the first 2 years. In detaildetails, men and women read 3,000 and 5,000 books respectively in 2011 at Burnaby Public Library. This showsAnd it clearly shows that women readenjoyed more books than men did. And in the following year, while the number of books read by menthe number of books men finished reading increased by one-third, it increased by 3,000 for womenincreased by 5 thousand for women, exactly twice as many books as the figure for men. It is worth noticing that women and men read the same number of books (10,000) in 2013in the year 2013, as the number read by men rose sharplyas men's interest in books skyrocketed. Women also read more books this year than in 2012, but the change was less noticeable (a 25% increaseexactly a quarter). Additionally, the figure for men furtherfurtherly surged to 14 thousand books in 2014, but there was a fall regarding the reading habits of women, as the number of books went down to 7 thousand.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overview of the contrasting trends and covers every year with mostly accurate comparisons, including the crossover in 2013 and the wide gap in 2014. The main limitation is an incorrect claim that women’s figure rose by 5,000 in 2012, alongside some awkward or informal trend language. Prioritise verifying each calculated change and presenting the yearly comparisons in cleaner, more concise sentences.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview is clear and nearly all key values and changes are accurately reported, with only a minor period description and one incorrect 2012 increase.
State that the graph covers four years and correct the women’s rise from 5,000 to 8,000 as an increase of 3,000.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronology and comparisons are easy to follow, though repeated sentence openings with And and limited paragraphing reduce smoothness.
Place the overview in its own paragraph and combine the annual details into two balanced comparison paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
A good range of trend vocabulary communicates sharp and gradual changes, but choices such as enjoyed books and furtherly surged are unnatural.
Prefer read more books, rose further, converged, and fell back to describe the changes precisely.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Varied complex structures are generally clear, but several article, preposition, adverb, and reference errors remain noticeable.
Correct forms such as over four years, in detail, rose by 3,000 for women, and increased further.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the number of books read by men and women at Burnaby Public Library from 2011 to 2014.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.