The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Sample Response
The pie chart shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive, while the table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s. Overall, theThe main reasons for worldwide land degradation wereconsisted of over-grazing, over-cultivation, deforestation Deleteand so on. Over-grazing accountedOvergrazing accounted for 35% compared with 30% for deforestation. The percentage of over-cultivation was 28%. Other reasons accounted for 7%. Turning to the regional data, the threeFurthermore, the three regions were affected by land degradation to different degrees. A total of 5% of agricultural land5% agricultural land was degraded in North America. Its figure for land degradation was lower than that of the other two regionslower than the other two regions. It was 18 percentage points lower than that of Europelower than Europe, and 8 percentage points lower than Oceania. The percentage for Europe reached 23%. The figure for deforestation reached 9.8%. The percentages for over-cultivation and over-grazing were 7.7% and 5.5%, respectively. Degraded land accounted for 13% of the total in Oceania. It had two reasons for land degradation. They were deforestation and over-grazing. They accounted for 13% of the total.
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response successfully presents the key trends and data points from both charts, establishing a clear main overview. However, the report suffers from repetitive sentence structures, simple paragraphing, and incomplete reporting of specific regional breakdowns in the table. To improve, combine related data points into complex sentences and ensure all key regional figures are systematically compared.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main trends and key figures from both the pie chart and table are covered, but specific breakdowns for North America and Oceania are partially omitted.
Ensure all individual categories for each region in the table are explicitly compared rather than just reporting total percentages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is arranged in a logical sequence, but the flow feels abrupt due to an overreliance on short, simple sentences.
Use cohesive devices and logical connectors to link related numerical details smoothly across sentences.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is adequate to describe the data, though there is frequent repetition of words like 'percentage', 'figure', and 'degraded'.
Incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary for trends and proportions, such as 'proportion', 'constituted', or 'represented'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Grammar and sentence structures are largely accurate, but the overall range is limited to simple sentence patterns.
Practice using complex structures, such as relative clauses and participle phrases, to group data features together naturally.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The pie chart below shows the main reasons why agricultural land becomes less productive. The table shows how these causes affected three regions of the world during the 1990s.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.