The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The diagram shows how the central library has been redesigned over the past 20 yearsafter 20 years. Overall, the central library has undergone noticeable changes, namely the addition of a cafénamely the addition of the cafe, a computer room, and modernized self-service facilitiescomputer room and different kinds of essential amenities.
Twenty years ago,Prior to the redesign, 20 years ago, the central area was dedicated to tables and chairs. On the right side of the entrance was an enquiry desk for selling tickets, checking book returns, etc. A small room at the north-east corner of the space housedwas meant for children's books. Adult non-fiction books were located between the children's books and the enquiry desk. On the left side of the library, next to the entrance,On the left side of the library, next to the entrance was a reading room for newspapers and magazines. On the north side of the room, a large sectionOn the north side of the room a large section was dedicated to adult fiction books, as well as a small room for CDs, videos and computer games.
In the redesigned layout, the tables and chairs have been removed. The enquiry desk has been transformed into a café. Adult non-fiction books have been changed into fiction books along with the information desk and self-service machines. Children's books have been relocated to the left side and a lecture room has replaced themthe lecture room has replaced it. On the left side, the games room has been expanded, sofas have been added, and the space is now usedthe games room was expanded, sofas were added and the room was used for storing children's fiction books and hosting storytelling events. Next to this is a small area for all reference books and a computer room instead of the former reading room.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively presents a clear overview and systematically compares the past and present floor plans of the library. Paragraphing and logical sequencing are well maintained, supported by accurate descriptions of layout changes. To raise the writing to a higher band, refine prepositional precision regarding spatial orientation and ensure minor grammatical slips in passive structure and subject placement are eliminated.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies key features across both maps and highlights main structural changes clearly, including an effective summary overview.
Ensure all room replacements are stated clearly so that former and current functions are compared with exact accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized by contrasting the past layout with the present redesign in separate paragraphs.
Vary spatial linking phrases to smooth the transitions between describing different rooms and sections.
Lexical Resource
A good range of vocabulary suited for describing floor plan alterations is used appropriately throughout.
Incorporate more precise location vocabulary to avoid slightly repetitive positional expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The essay displays a good control of complex sentences and passive voice structures, with only minor errors.
Check pronoun and noun referents carefully when describing what replaced specific rooms to avoid awkward syntax.