The diagram below shows the floor plan of a public library 20 years ago and how it looks now.
This response is estimated at Band 7.0. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The diagram shows how the central library has been redesigned after 20 years. Overall, the central library has undergone noticeable changes, namely the addition of the cafe, computer room and different kinds of essential amenities.
Prior to the redesign, 202o years ago, the central area was dedicated to tables and chairs. On the right side of the entrance was an enquiry desk for selling tickets, checking book returns, etc. A small room at the north-easttop right corner of the space was meant for children's books. Adult non-fiction books were located between the children's books and the enquiry desk. On the left side of the library, next to the entrance was a reading room for newspapers and magazines. On the north side of the room a large sectionhuge area was dedicated to adult fiction books, as well as a small room for CDs, videos and computer games.
In the redesigned layout, the tables and chairs have been removedtables and chairs were removed. The enquiry desk has been transformed into a caféwas transformed into a cafe. Adult non-fiction books have been changed into fiction books along with the information desk and self-service machines. Children's books have been relocated to the left side and the lecture room has replaced it.was placed in its location.On the left side, the games room was expanded, sofas were added and the room was used for storing children's fiction books and hosting storytelling events. Next to this is a small area for all reference books and a computer room instead of the former reading roomreading one.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response effectively describes key changes between the two floor plans, supported by a clear overview and logical paragraphing. However, a few directional details and feature transformations could be reported with slightly greater accuracy. To improve, ensure spatial descriptions match the diagram precisely and eliminate minor typographical errors.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The overview and major structural changes are clearly highlighted, though minor details about spatial placements could be more precise.
Double-check location descriptions to ensure every room transformation strictly matches the diagram.
Coherence and Cohesion
The essay uses a logical comparison structure divided by past and present layouts, leading to clear overall progression.
Use clearer spatial transition phrases to guide the reader through specific room relocations.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of vocabulary related to library facilities and architectural alterations is used appropriately.
Vary verbs of modification further to avoid relying on repetitive phrasing like dedicated to or changed into.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good range of complex structures and passive forms for describing changes is demonstrated with only minor errors.
Proofread carefully to catch minor typographical mistakes and spacing issues after punctuation.