The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the sales produced by a coffee shop inside an office building in a regular weekday. It is clearly seen that the most peak time of the coffee shop is the early morning, which is 7:30 to 10:30 am.
It is seen that the coffee shop obtains their highest sales during 7:30 am to 10:30 am with a 700 total sales volume followed by the next time shift, which is 10:30 to 2:30 pm, with a total of 530 sales. During the 5:30 pm to 8:30 pm time shift, the coffee shop's sales stands a total of 465. On the contrary, the lowest products sell could be observed during the afternoon period, which is 2:30 pm to 5:30 pm. However, evening time shift (5:30 pm to 8:30 pm) makes a better sale than the afternoon sale with 465 sales in total.
Overall, coffee is the most consumed item in the coffee shop with about 8 hundred sales per day followed by pastries and sandwich sales with 600 and 400 respectively. The tea, on the other hand, is the least bought product, 270 cups in a day, by the consumers in a typical weekday.
In summary, 7:30 am to 10:30 am is the most peak time of the coffee shop. Respectively, coffee is the most sought product in the shop and tea is the least bought product the consumers.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use sales collocation Original: produced Suggested revision: made Why it matters: A shop makes sales rather than produces them.
- 2. Correct day preposition Original: in a regular weekday Suggested revision: on a typical weekday Why it matters: Days take “on,” and “typical” matches the task description.
- 3. Use busiest period Original: the most peak time of the coffee shop is the early morning Suggested revision: the busiest period for the coffee shop is the early morning Why it matters: “Peak” is already a superlative concept and does not take “most.”
- 4. Express time range Original: which is 7:30 to 10:30 am Suggested revision: from 7:30 to 10:30 a.m. Why it matters: A time range is introduced with “from” and paired with “to.”
- 5. Fix sales construction Original: stands a total of Suggested revision: stand at Why it matters: A numerical total stands at a value.
- 6. Use correct contrast Original: On the contrary Suggested revision: By contrast Why it matters: The sentence contrasts time-period totals rather than refuting a claim.
- 7. Fix passive structure Original: lowest products sell Suggested revision: fewest products sold Why it matters: The phrase needs a plural quantity expression and a past participle.
- 8. State recorded result Original: could be observed Suggested revision: were recorded Why it matters: This reports the table value directly.
- 9. Introduce time span Original: during the afternoon period, which is Suggested revision: from Why it matters: The following endpoints form a time range introduced by “from.”
- 10. Add article Original: evening time shift Suggested revision: the evening period Why it matters: The singular time period needs an article.
- 11. Describe higher total Original: makes a better sale Suggested revision: records higher sales Why it matters: The table compares total sales rather than the quality of one sale.
- 12. Use standard numeral Original: 8 hundred Suggested revision: 800 Why it matters: A three-digit data value is conventionally written in numerals.
Suggested Rewrites
- produced made
- in a regular weekday on a typical weekday
- the most peak time of the coffee shop is the early morning the busiest period for the coffee shop is the early morning
- which is 7:30 to 10:30 am from 7:30 to 10:30 a.m.
- stands a total of stand at
- On the contrary By contrast
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response accurately identifies the busiest and quietest periods and correctly reports every time-period total and product total, so the central features of the table are well covered. The main weakness is inefficient presentation: the same overview points are repeated in the introduction, overview and summary, while frequent awkward collocations reduce fluency. Prioritize one concise overview, grouped supporting detail and more natural sales language.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The key time and product patterns are fully identified, and all quoted totals correspond accurately to the table.
Add one direct comparison between the lunchtime sandwich peak and the morning peaks for coffee, tea and pastries.
Coherence and Cohesion
Paragraphing is present and the information is understandable, but repeated overview statements and redundant contrasts make progression mechanical.
Use one overview followed by one paragraph for time-period totals and one for product totals, without a second summary.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe rankings and totals, but frequent unnatural combinations such as 'most peak time' and 'lowest products sell' limit control.
Replace strained wording with standard phrases such as 'busiest period', 'lowest total sales' and 'best-selling product'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts complex sentences, but agreement, article, preposition and word-form errors recur throughout.
Revise each comparison for complete clause structure and agreement, especially phrases such as 'sales stand at' and 'products sold'.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The table below shows sales made by a coffee shop in an office building on a typical weekday.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.