The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Sample Response
The bar charts show data about computer ownership, with a further classification by level of education, from 2002 to 2010.
A steady but significant rise can be seen in the percentage of the population that owned a computer over the period. Just over half the population owned computers in 2002, whereas by 2010 three out of four people had a home computer. An analysis of the data by level of education shows that higher levels of education correspond to higher levels of computer ownership in both of those years. In 2002, only around 15% of those who did not finish high school had a computer but this figure had trebled by 2010. There were also considerable increases, of approximately 30 percentage points, for those with a high school diploma or an unfinished college education (reaching 65% and 85% respectively in 2010).
However, graduates and postgraduates proved to have the greatest level of ownership in 2010, at 90% and 95% respectively, 20 percentage points higher than in 2002. The last decade has seen a substantial growth in computer ownership in general, and across all educational levels.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Avoid unsupported detail Original: home computer Suggested revision: computer Why it matters: The chart reports computer ownership without specifying that the computers were kept at home.
- 2. Use past tense Original: correspond Suggested revision: corresponded Why it matters: The comparison describes data from two completed years, so the verb should be in the past tense.
- 3. Match chart label Original: did not finish high school Suggested revision: had no high school diploma Why it matters: This wording more precisely reflects the education category shown on the chart.
- 4. Report exact rise Original: had trebled by 2010 Suggested revision: had risen to just over 40% by 2010 Why it matters: The visual shows a rise from about 15% to just above 40%, which is slightly less than a trebling.
- 5. Clarify the transition Original: However Suggested revision: Among these groups Why it matters: The sentence continues the education-level comparison rather than introducing a contrast.
- 6. Use direct wording Original: proved to have Suggested revision: had Why it matters: The simpler verb reports the chart data more directly and objectively.
- 7. Use natural collocation Original: greatest level of ownership Suggested revision: highest ownership rates Why it matters: Rates is the more natural term for comparing percentages across groups.
- 8. Sentence rewrite Original: The bar charts show data about computer ownership, with a further classification by level of education, from 2002 to 2010. Suggested revision: The bar charts show overall computer ownership from 2002 to 2010 and ownership by education level in 2002 and 2010. Why it matters: The revision makes clear that the education-level chart compares only two years.
- 9. Sentence rewrite Original: The last decade has seen a substantial growth in computer ownership in general, and across all educational levels. Suggested revision: Over the period shown, computer ownership rose substantially overall and at every education level. Why it matters: This version uses an accurate historical time reference and clearly summarises both charts.
Suggested Rewrites
- home computer computer
- correspond corresponded
- did not finish high school had no high school diploma
- had trebled by 2010 had risen to just over 40% by 2010
- However Among these groups
- proved to have had
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response presents a clear overview and accurately selects the main upward trends, with concise comparisons across education levels. Its main limitation is minor imprecision in describing the lowest-education figure as having trebled and in treating both advanced groups as rising by exactly 20 percentage points. Prioritise fully precise comparisons from the charts while retaining the strong, economical structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report provides a clear overview and selects the main trends and education-level comparisons accurately, with only small numerical overstatements.
Distinguish the approximate 27-point rise for people without a high-school diploma and the slightly different gains for graduates and postgraduates.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information progresses logically from the overall ownership trend to detailed education-level comparisons, with clear referencing and concise paragraphing.
Use contrastive linking only for genuine contrasts and avoid restating the overview in the closing sentence.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is varied and generally precise, including effective language for trends, proportions, and educational categories.
Refine occasional collocations such as proved to have and avoid substituting home computer when the chart measures computer ownership generally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A wide range of sentence structures is handled accurately, and complex comparisons remain easy to follow.
Polish the introductory sentence so the two chart dimensions are expressed in fully parallel and unambiguous terms.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.