The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Sample Response
The given bar graphs show data on the percentage of computer ownership from the year 2002 to 2010 both by comparison of total population and education level. As is observed from the given graphs, the computer ownership increased over the years and this ownership among the people with higher studies was higher than others. According to the first graph, more than 50% of peoplemore than 50% people owned computers in 2002 and this percentage continued to increase over the periodkept on increasing over years. By 2008,After 6 years this percentage had reached about 70%reached to over 60% and by 2010,and finally in 2010 the percentage of people who owned computers had risen to about 75%owned computers reached to over 70%. The second bar chart showsFrom the second bar graph, we can observe that computer ownership increasedthe percentage of computer ownership increased with education levelwith the education level; i.e. the higher the education level, the higherthe higher the education level the higher the percentage of computer ownership. For instance, 15% of the people who had no high school diplomaHigh school graduation owned computers in 2002 and this percentage waswere about 70% for bachelor's degree holdersabout 60 for Bachelor degree holders and about 75% for postgraduate qualification holdersover 80 for the postgraduate degree holders. In 2010After 8 years, in 2010, the same trend could be observed and the percentage of people who owned computers was higher in every education group than in 2002increased significantly compared to 2002.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response's strongest feature is its accurate overview that computer ownership rose over time and was consistently greater at higher education levels. Its main limitation is weak and inaccurate selection from the education chart: the 15% figure is assigned to the wrong group, the bachelor's value is understated, and 2010 categories lack figures. The priority is to compare matched education groups across both years with accurate data.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response identifies both principal trends, but detailed coverage is uneven and several education-level figures are inaccurate or omitted.
Report accurate 2002 and 2010 values for representative low, middle, and high education groups and compare their increases.
Coherence and Cohesion
The report has a clear introduction, overview, and graph-by-graph progression, although it remains one paragraph and repeats similar wording.
Divide the overview and two sets of details into distinct paragraphs and combine repeated percentage statements into direct comparisons.
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficient to describe trends, but repetition and awkward phrases such as "higher studies" and "reached to" limit flexibility and precision.
Vary the language with accurate forms such as "higher education levels," "rose to," "ownership rate," and "respectively."
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Both simple and complex structures are attempted, but errors in agreement, articles, prepositions, and percentage expressions recur throughout.
Revise forms such as "50% of people," "rose to," and "this percentage was," while checking agreement in every data sentence.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graphs below give information about computer ownership as a percentage of the population between 2002 and 2010, and by the level of education for the years 2002 and 2010.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.