The chart below shows the number of doctors practicing in Australia over a 20-year period, including their gender and country of origin.
Sample Response
The table illustrates the number of doctors practicing in Australia, and the two bar chartschart show their gender and country of origin over a 20-year period.
Overall, the number of doctors increased from 1986 to 2006. Furthermore,the gender ratio among doctors remained relatively stablethe ratio of doctors' gender remained stable, while the proportion based on nationalityproportion based nationality showed slight fluctuations during the period.
In 1986, there were 300,000 doctorsthere were only 300,000 doctors in Australia. This figure more than doubled after a decade, standing at 640,000 doctors in 1996. Moreover, it continued to increase sharply, finally reaching 800,000 doctors in 2006, which was more than two and a half times the 1986 figurewhich was approximately three times as many as the number in 1986.
Furthermore, the ratio of doctors' gender was stable. Generally, the different genders remained relatively stable at around 50% each. In 1986 and 2006, the proportion of male doctors was higher than that ofthan the that of female doctors, while the figure for female doctors was nearlywhile the female was nearly 10 percentage points higher than that of males in 1996than the male in 1996. Regarding country of origin, the nationality of the doctors experienced a noticeable fluctuation.The proportion of Australian doctors was 20 percentage points higher than the proportion of doctors from other nationalitiesthe proportion of others in 1986. In contrast, both groups stood at the same proportionthey were the same proportion in 1996. After a decade, the proportion of Australian doctors increased to 60% again, matching its initial level in 1986the same as its percentage in 1986.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay effectively summarizes the data from the table and bar charts, presenting a clear overview and accurate numerical comparisons. However, cohesive devices are somewhat repetitive and mechanical, and minor grammatical errors appear throughout the text. To improve, vary transitional expressions and refine complex grammatical structures for better precision.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report covers all key features accurately and includes a clear overview highlighting general trends across the period.
Ensure descriptions of subtle fluctuations avoid overly broad claims like declaring proportions stable when notable shifts occurred.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically structured into clear paragraphs, though repetitive cohesive devices lower the natural flow.
Vary transitional words instead of overusing mechanical linkers such as 'Furthermore' and 'Moreover'.
Lexical Resource
An adequate range of vocabulary is used to describe trends and percentages, despite occasional word choice errors.
Incorporate a wider variety of vocabulary when presenting comparative data to avoid repeating terms like 'proportion' and 'ratio'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex sentence forms is attempted, though minor errors in articles, agreement, and punctuation persist.
Proofread for singular/plural agreement and comparative structures such as 'higher than that of' to increase accuracy.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the number of doctors practicing in Australia over a 20-year period, including their gender and country of origin.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.