The table presents how much people from five employment sectors earned, in three diferent salary levels in 2009.
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Sample Response
The tabletable chart shows information about three different salary levels across five employment sectorslevels of five employment sectors earned in 2009.
Overall,it is clear that finance had the highest earningsFinance salary is the most earned job ,while construction and hospitality had the lowest earnings compared withwere the lowest earned job comparing with other employment sectors.
In 2009,finance had the highestlargest salary of three different levels,which included maximum(£8850），minimumMiniumu(£1600) and average(£5225).Looking at the figures for average income across the five employment sectors,income in from five employment sectors earned,transportation and manufacturing had average salaries of £2712 and £2215 respectively.transportation and hospitality were got medium salary levels which were £1945 and £2215.
Average earnings in construction and hospitality were £1945 and £1895 respectively. Furthermore,While the income of average in construction and hospitality were £1945 and £1895 comparing with other jobs,and it is noticeable that hospitality was the lowest-paying sectorthe least income sectors among the five sectors,in these five jobs,as its maximum salary reached only £2900 in 2009,while the maximum income only got 2900 in 2009,and the minimum salary was £890. However, finance's,however,Finance minimum salary was almost doubled comparing with hospitality.
Why this response received Band 5.0
The essay identifies key high and low figures from the table and attempts a clear comparison between sectors. However, inaccurate data reports, such as misattributing average figures to incorrect sectors, coupled with frequent grammatical errors undermine clarity. To improve, double-check numerical figures against the table before writing and focus on correct sentence structures for comparisons.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
An overall trend is identified, but key details contain noticeable inaccuracies and omissions across the sectors.
Verify all numerical figures against the data source before writing to ensure complete accuracy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is organized into basic paragraphs, though repetitive structures and awkward transitions hinder smooth progression.
Use a wider range of linking devices and structure body paragraphs logically around key groupings.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is sufficient for basic descriptions, but spelling errors and word choice inaccuracies are frequent.
Focus on accurate spelling of topic-related vocabulary and vary precise terms for reporting data.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Frequent grammatical errors, faulty sentence structures, and punctuation mistakes obscure meaning throughout the report.
Practice writing error-free complex sentences with correct subject-verb agreement and subordinate clauses.