The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Sample Response
The supplied bar chart compares the employment rate for male and female workersamong men and women workers in 1995 and 2005 in six countries across the globe. It is clear that in 1995, the employment rates in Iceland and Switzerland were comparatively higher than those in the other countriesthan other countries and more men were employed than womenthan that of women in the given countries. Male employment rates in Switzerland and Iceland werewas over 65% while it was exactly 60% in New Zealand in 1995. In this year about 58% Australian male was employed while in the USA it was just below 60%. Finally, in the UK about 55% of malesabout 55% males were employed. By contrastOn the other side, the female employment rate that yearwomen employment rate in this year was comparatively lowlower (only 27-28%) in Australia and New Zealand. Women in Switzerland had the highest employment rate in this year which was approximately 58%. After 10 years, the employment rate, for both women and menboth for woman and men, increased and the highest male employment rate was recordedhighest employment rate for men could be observed in Iceland (82%) and the lowest in Australia (69%)and lowest in Australia (69%). Similarly, the highest femalewomen employment rate was in Switzerland (68%) and the lowest was in Australia (38%)and lowest in Australia (38%). Though the percentage of femalewomen employment increased in 2005, male employment rates still exceeded female ratesmen were still ahead of women in employment sectors in these six countries.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response provides a clear overview of the gender gap and the general rise in employment, supported by several relevant country comparisons. Its main limitation is uneven coverage: the 2005 figures are reduced mainly to extremes, while a few 1995 values are only approximate or slightly inaccurate. The highest priority is to select a more balanced set of comparisons across both years and check every reported figure against the chart.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and mostly accurate key figures address the task well, though coverage of 2005 is limited and several values are imprecise.
Compare more countries across both years and verify exact values, especially the 1995 figures for Australia, Switzerland, and New Zealand.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response progresses logically from an overview to 1995 details and then 2005, with generally clear referencing.
Use more natural comparative transitions and reduce repetitive time references such as repeated uses of "in this year".
Lexical Resource
The vocabulary is sufficiently varied for the task, but recurring awkward combinations reduce precision.
Use standard forms such as "female employment rate," "Australian men," and "higher than that for women" more consistently.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence structures communicates the comparisons clearly, but agreement, article, and noun-form errors recur.
Prioritise subject-verb agreement and plural control in phrases involving rates, percentages, men, and women.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows information on employment rates across 6 countries in 1995 and 2005.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.