The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015.
Sample Response
The illustration outlines the percentages of female employees in the call centre, banking and finance, and customer service sectorscall centre, finance, and customer service jobs in Greece between 1990 and 2015. Overall, women’swomen participation in these sectors increased markedlyremarkably improved and almost half of the customer service and call centre jobs were held by female employees in 2015 compared to around 4 to 12 per centa meagre 2 to 10 per cent in 1990. As shownAs is observed, call centres in Greece in 1990 had about 4 per centonly 2 to 3 per cent of female workers whereas around 8 per cent of employees in the banking and finance sectorindustries were women. The highest proportion of female employeesratio of female executives was recordedemployed in customer service this year but it was still just over 10% of total employees. Up until the year 2000, the ratio of female workers in call centre jobs slowly increased but the proportions in the other two sectorstheir ratio in two other sectors remained almost the same. However, in 2005, call centres hired nearly a workforce that was nearly one-quarter femaleone-quarter female employees while more than 20% of customer service employees that yearcustomer service executives in this year were female. After a decade, women’swomen employment in Greece in these sectors increased notablynotably advanced and exactly halfmore than half of the customer care jobs were held by womenfilled by females while call centres hired a workforce that was around 45 per cent femalearound 45 per cent female employees. Finally, the banking and finance sector employed women in around 35% of its positionsaround 35% females, which was more than four times the 1990 proportionmore than four times higher than that of 1990.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response gives a clear overall upward trend and selects relevant comparisons across the three sectors, with most figures closely matching the chart. Its main weakness is minor data imprecision, particularly the 1990 range and the claim that customer service exceeded half in 2015, alongside recurring awkward employment collocations. Prioritise reporting exact endpoints and using more natural forms such as ‘women’s employment’ and ‘female employees’.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
A clear overview and well-selected chronological comparisons cover all three sectors, though a few endpoint descriptions are slightly inaccurate.
Report the 1990 call-centre figure as about 4% and customer service in 2015 as exactly 50%, not more than half.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ideas progress logically from the overview through the main years, but presenting the entire response as one paragraph limits effective grouping.
Use a separate overview and divide details into early and later periods so comparisons are easier to scan.
Lexical Resource
The response shows good range in describing growth and comparison, but several employment-related collocations are awkward or imprecise.
Use natural combinations such as ‘women’s participation’, ‘female employees accounted for’, and ‘the proportion of women employed’.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Complex comparisons are generally clear and a range of structures is attempted, although article, possessive, and quantifier errors recur.
Refine forms such as ‘women’s employment’, ‘one quarter of employees’, and ‘employed women’, while checking articles and possessives.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.