The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015.
Sample Response
The bar graph compares the percentagesratio of female employees in three job sectors, namely "call centre", "banking and finance" and "customer service" in Greece from 1990 to 2015. Overall, the percentages of women workers in these sectors skyrocketed and in customer service, the highest ratio of female was employed in 2015. According to the chartdiagram, only about four call centre employees out of every hundred2-3 call centre employees out of a hundred were female in 1990. However, the proportion of female employeesfemale operatives in this sector continued to increasethis sector kept on increasing and reached about 25% in 2005over 20% in 2005 and about 32% in 2010over 30% in 2010. Finally, in 2015, almost half of the call centre workers were female. A similar trend could be observed in the "banking and finance" and "customer servicecare" sectors. Approximately 9 to 11 per cent of employees in these two sectors were female during 1990 and 2000. However, women'swomen participation in these sectorsjobs kept on increasing from 2005. In 2015, nearly 35% of Greece women worked in the banking and finance sector. It is worth notingnoticing that women's share of customer-service employees in 2015the ratio of female employees in customer service in 2015 was just over halfmore than half of the total employees.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response gives a clear overview of rising female representation and highlights the leading 2015 figure, with generally logical movement through the sectors. Its main limitation is uneven numerical precision and interpretation, especially the inaccurate early call-centre value and the claim about the proportion of Greek women. The priority is to report each percentage as the share of employees within that sector and check key values carefully.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The main upward trends and final rankings are identified, but several values are imprecise and one percentage is misinterpreted as a share of Greek women.
State that each figure represents female employees within a sector and verify key years, including the early call-centre values.
Coherence and Cohesion
The information moves logically from the overview to call centres and then the other sectors, but the single paragraph weakens grouping.
Use a separate overview and group the detailed comparisons into two focused body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource
There is sufficient range for trends and comparisons, though expressions such as ratio of female, Greece women, and women participation are awkward.
Prefer precise forms such as proportion of female employees, Greek women, and women’s participation.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response uses both simple and complex structures, but agreement, possessive, and article errors appear in several sentences.
Check noun phrases and agreement carefully, particularly plural references and possessive forms such as women’s participation.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart below shows the percentage of female employees in three job sectors in Greece from 1990 to 2015.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.