The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below. Fertility Rate (births per woman) in Gulf Countries, 1990-2000
Sample Response
The given bar chart compares the fertility rates of women from six Gulf countries in 1990 and 2000. As is observed from the given data, the fertility rate has decreased over the decade and women of Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher fertility rate than women of other Gulf countries. According to the bar graph, initially in 1990, the fertility rates (childbirth per thousand women of a certain age range) in Bahrain, Kuwait, Qatar and the UAE were from 3-4. Women from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a fertility rate of more than 6 in this same year. After ten years, this rate reduced in all of the given 6 countries. This indicates the less fertility rate of the women of the Gulf countries. The declination maintained a radio for each country and in the year 2000, the women from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a higher fertility rate than the women in other four Gulf countries. In summary, the childbirth per thousand women, which is also known as the fertility rate, in the Gulf countries decreased over the time.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use location preposition Original: from Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the natural preposition for women located in the countries shown.
- 2. Signal the overview Original: As is observed from the given data Suggested revision: Overall Why it matters: Overall introduces the summary of the chart's principal patterns directly.
- 3. Use past tense Original: has decreased over the decade Suggested revision: decreased over the decade Why it matters: Both chart years are in the past, so the simple past is required.
- 4. Use location preposition Original: of Suggested revision: in Why it matters: In is the natural preposition for women located in these countries.
- 5. Fix the comparison Original: a higher fertility rate than women of other Gulf countries Suggested revision: higher fertility rates than women in the other Gulf countries Why it matters: The plural groups are compared through their respective fertility rates.
- 6. Remove redundant marker Original: initially in 1990 Suggested revision: in 1990 Why it matters: The year already establishes the starting point, so initially is unnecessary.
- 7. Correct the unit Original: childbirth per thousand women of a certain age range Suggested revision: births per woman Why it matters: The chart measures births per woman, not childbirths per thousand women.
- 8. Express the range Original: were from 3-4 Suggested revision: ranged from about three to four Why it matters: Ranged from X to Y is the correct structure for this interval.
- 9. Use plural rates Original: Women from Oman and Saudi Arabia had a fertility rate Suggested revision: Women in Oman and Saudi Arabia had fertility rates Why it matters: The sentence reports a separate rate for each of two countries.
- 10. Use natural reference Original: this Suggested revision: the Why it matters: In the same year is the standard form in this context.
- 11. Include the unit Original: more than 6 Suggested revision: more than six births per woman Why it matters: Adding the chart's unit makes the figures unambiguous.
- 12. Use plural subject Original: this rate reduced Suggested revision: these rates fell Why it matters: The sentence refers to fertility rates in all six countries, so a plural subject is needed.
Suggested Rewrites
- from in
- As is observed from the given data Overall
- has decreased over the decade decreased over the decade
- of in
- a higher fertility rate than women of other Gulf countries higher fertility rates than women in the other Gulf countries
- initially in 1990 in 1990
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response’s strongest feature is a clear overview that fertility generally fell and remained highest in Oman and Saudi Arabia. Its main limitation is factual and developmental: the chart measures births per woman, Kuwait did not decline, and few 2000 figures are reported. Prioritise using the correct unit and describing country-specific changes with precise values, especially the unchanged Kuwaiti rate.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The report identifies the overall decline and the two highest countries, but it uses the wrong unit, incorrectly says all six countries fell, and provides little precise detail for 2000.
Report births per woman, identify Kuwait as unchanged, and compare the two years with approximate figures for each country group.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response moves broadly from an overview to 1990 and then 2000, but the single paragraph, repeated conclusion and unclear middle sentence weaken progression.
Use a separate overview and organise details into two clear comparison groups: Oman and Saudi Arabia, then the other four countries.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary is repetitive and often inaccurate, with errors such as “childbirth per thousand women,” “less fertility rate,” “declination” and “radio” reducing precision.
Use a small set of accurate terms consistently: “births per woman,” “fertility rate,” “fell,” “remained stable” and “proportion.”
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The main meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent article, preposition, agreement and comparative errors occur across the report.
Practise structures such as “rates ranged from 3 to 4,” “fell in five countries,” and “higher than those in the other countries.”
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The graph below shows the fertility rate of women in different Gulf Countries from 1990 to 2000. Write a report describing the information in the graph below. Fertility Rate (births per woman) in Gulf Countries, 1990-2000
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