The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
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Sample Response
The pie charts illustrateillustrates the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world.
Overall, the majority of areas useuses water in agriculture, while industrial use accounts for the largest sharethe industrial use accounts for the largest in North America and Europe. In contrast, industrial use represents the smallest proportion of the total in Africa, Central Asia and South America. Moreover, Domestic use accounts for a similarDomestic use accounts for similar and small share of the total in all areas.
In Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia, Agricultural use is the vast majoritymost majority of percentage of water used, between 81% and 88%, whereas the smallest figures for Agricultural use can be seenthere is a smallest figure for Agricultural use can be seen in North America and Europe, at 39% and 32%, respectively. Moreover, this figure in South America is 71%.
TheA largest percentage of water used in Industry can be seen in North America, at 48%, and this figure also accountsaccount for the largest share in Europe, at 53%. By contrast, the figure for Industrial use accounts for the smallest percentageaccount smallest percentage in other areas. In addition, the figure for Domestic use accounts for more than 10% in North America (13%) and Europe (15%), and reaches 19% in South AmericaDomestic use account just over 10% in North America, South America, Europe but this figure in Africa, Central Asia and South East Asia is just under 10%just under of 10%.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The essay successfully highlights the main regional trends in global water consumption and includes accurate supporting figures. However, language control is limited by frequent grammatical inaccuracies, subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward phrasing. Improving sentence structure and refining precise comparative vocabulary will help elevate the overall quality.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response presents a clear overview identifying key trends across regions and accurately reports data for all categories.
Group regions more systematically when describing smaller categories to highlight contrasts even more effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into distinct paragraphs, though cohesion relies on somewhat repetitive transition words and phrasing.
Vary cohesive expressions and referencing structures to avoid repeating phrases like 'this figure' across sentences.
Lexical Resource
The candidate uses an adequate range of task-appropriate vocabulary, though some word choices and collocations are slightly inaccurate.
Refine collocations and noun phrases, replacing awkward constructions such as 'the most majority of percentage' with correct expressions.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of sentence forms is attempted, but minor grammatical errors in subject-verb agreement and article usage occur frequently.
Focus on subject-verb agreement and prepositional accuracy, such as eliminating unnecessary prepositions in phrases like 'just under of 10%'.