Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.
Sample Response
The plans illustrate the development of a health centre from 2005 to the present day. Overall, it is clear that some major changes have been taken place to the health centre.
First of all, the only room which remained unchanged in health centre since 2005 is physiotherapy room. There is an extra minor operations room being added next to it, thus the size of the garden has decreased. In the present day, there are more seats available to the patients than that in 2005. In addition, there are 4 consulting rooms now compared to that in the year 2005 which had only 3 rooms. The main entrance is, noticeably, shifted to the bottom left corner of the health centre with additional children's play area. The reception desk is now placed near the entrance which is opposite of children's play area.
Lastly, the car park slots have been increased to 30 spaces in the present day from only 12 spaces in the year 2005.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise map term Original: development Suggested revision: changes Why it matters: The plans show alterations to an existing centre rather than a general process of development.
- 2. Remove passive form Original: have been taken place Suggested revision: have taken place Why it matters: The intransitive verb “take place” cannot be used in the passive voice.
- 3. Correct unchanged feature Original: the only room Suggested revision: one of the rooms Why it matters: The plans show that both the physiotherapy room and the office remained in place.
- 4. Add definite article Original: unchanged in health centre Suggested revision: unchanged in the health centre Why it matters: The specific health centre requires the definite article.
- 5. Add room article Original: is physiotherapy room Suggested revision: is the physiotherapy room Why it matters: A definite article is needed before the named room.
- 6. Fix tense and structure Original: There is an extra Suggested revision: An additional Why it matters: This replacement allows the completed present-day change to be expressed directly with “has been added.”
- 7. Use completed present perfect Original: being added Suggested revision: has been added Why it matters: The present-day plan shows a completed change from the 2005 layout.
- 8. Join clauses correctly Original: , thus Suggested revision: ; therefore, Why it matters: A semicolon prevents a comma splice between the two independent clauses.
- 9. Use natural preposition Original: available to the patients Suggested revision: available for patients Why it matters: “Available for patients” is the more natural phrasing for seating provision.
- 10. Fix comparison reference Original: than that in 2005 Suggested revision: than in 2005 Why it matters: The demonstrative “that” has no valid singular antecedent after plural “seats.”
- 11. Clarify numerical comparison Original: compared to that in the year 2005 Suggested revision: compared with three in 2005 Why it matters: The comparison must explicitly identify the earlier number of consulting rooms.
- 12. Use completed change Original: is, noticeably, shifted Suggested revision: has notably been shifted Why it matters: Present perfect correctly describes a completed change visible in the present-day plan, and the commas are unnecessary.
Suggested Rewrites
- development changes
- have been taken place have taken place
- the only room one of the rooms
- unchanged in health centre unchanged in the health centre
- is physiotherapy room is the physiotherapy room
- There is an extra An additional
Why this response received Band 6.0
The response identifies many concrete changes, including the added room, expanded consulting provision, relocated entrance and larger car park, and its paragraphing makes the sequence easy to follow. However, the overview is too general and the claim that only the physiotherapy room remained unchanged overlooks the office. The priority is to give a specific overview that accurately summarizes the main expansion and internal reorganization.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
Most important alterations are described accurately, but the overview lacks specific key features and one statement about unchanged rooms is inaccurate.
State in the overview that the centre expanded its facilities and parking while reorganizing the entrance, reception, seating, and consulting rooms.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response is logically ordered with a distinct introduction, overview, main details, and final parking comparison, although the sequencing markers are somewhat mechanical.
Group the internal changes and external changes into two balanced detail paragraphs rather than isolating the car park in a very short final paragraph.
Lexical Resource
Vocabulary for describing plans is adequate and includes terms such as remained unchanged, decreased, shifted, and additional, but several combinations are awkward.
Use more natural map-reporting collocations such as was added, was relocated, parking spaces, and opposite the children's play area.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
The response attempts varied sentence structures, but errors in passive forms, articles, comparison structures, and tense occur repeatedly while meaning remains clear.
Focus on accurate passive constructions and articles, replacing forms such as have been taken place with have taken place and adding missing the or a where required.
Write this task while it is fresh
Try the same task now. It helps you remember the feedback and write better next time.
IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.