Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.
Sample Response
The two illustrations show the previous and the latest plans for a health centre in 2005 and in the present day.
In 2005, the main entrance was located in front of the health centre with 12 car parking spaces outside. From the main entrance, there were a number of seats where clients could sit and wait for consultation. Moreover, there were three large consulting rooms and an office where clients could be accommodated and a reception desk in the far corner from the entrance. From there, there was a physiotherapy room, located behind the reception desk where clients undergo musculoskeletal rehabilitation.
In the present day plan, the health centre is revised in this way. Both the entrance and reception desk are transferred in the left corner of the health centre and a playing area created opposite to the reception desk. They added another room for consulting purposes but not as large as the previous plan before. Likewise, spaces are expanded for car parking up to 30
slots. While the office and the physiotherapy room are in their original structure, a minor operating room is added beside the latter. To sum up, the present day plan is constructed with more rooms added although smaller in size compared in the past.
IELTS Writing Correction
- 1. Use precise time word Original: previous Suggested revision: earlier Why it matters: Earlier describes the 2005 plan more naturally than previous here.
- 2. Use task wording Original: latest Suggested revision: current Why it matters: Current accurately matches the present-day plan shown.
- 3. Clarify spatial relation Original: From the main entrance Suggested revision: Inside the main entrance Why it matters: The waiting seats are inside the building rather than extending from the entrance.
- 4. Improve waiting phrase Original: where clients could sit and wait for consultation Suggested revision: where clients could wait for consultations Why it matters: Wait for consultations is a more concise and natural description of the seating area.
- 5. Avoid invented function Original: an office where clients could be accommodated and a reception desk Suggested revision: an office and a reception desk Why it matters: The plan labels an office but does not show that clients were accommodated there.
- 6. Correct reception location Original: in the far corner from the entrance Suggested revision: near the entrance Why it matters: In the 2005 plan, the reception desk is centrally located just inside the entrance.
- 7. Clarify room location Original: From there, there was a physiotherapy room, located behind the reception desk Suggested revision: Behind the reception desk, there was a physiotherapy room Why it matters: The revision removes the vague reference From there and states the spatial relationship directly.
- 8. Match past tense Original: undergo Suggested revision: underwent Why it matters: The description of the 2005 layout requires past tense.
- 9. Use correct preposition Original: In the present day plan Suggested revision: On the present-day plan Why it matters: Features are shown on a plan, and present-day needs a hyphen before a noun.
- 10. Use concise description Original: is revised in this way Suggested revision: has been redesigned Why it matters: Has been redesigned expresses the change more directly and naturally.
- 11. Correct movement phrase Original: Both the entrance and reception desk are transferred in the left corner of the health centre Suggested revision: The entrance and reception desk have been moved to the left side of the health centre Why it matters: Moved to correctly describes their new location in the current plan.
- 12. Name feature precisely Original: a playing area Suggested revision: a children's play area Why it matters: The current plan specifically labels this feature as a children's play area.
Suggested Rewrites
- previous earlier
- latest current
- From the main entrance Inside the main entrance
- where clients could sit and wait for consultation where clients could wait for consultations
- an office where clients could be accommodated and a reception desk an office and a reception desk
- in the far corner from the entrance near the entrance
Why this response received Band 6.5
The response is strongest in its orderly description of the earlier and current layouts, and it identifies most major additions and relocations. Its main limitation is a vague overview alongside some imprecise spatial language and unsupported detail. The highest priority is to present a sharper comparison of the central structural changes, then describe locations with accurate map-based phrasing and more consistently controlled grammar.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Detailed feedback by IELTS writing criterion after the annotated essay.
Task Achievement
The response covers most major changes accurately, but the overview is vague and some descriptions add unsupported purpose or imprecise spatial detail.
Give a clear overview of the expanded capacity and relocated entrance and reception, then select only visually supported features.
Coherence and Cohesion
The chronological organisation and division between the two plans create clear progression, despite some mechanical linking and an awkward break before 'slots'.
Group the overview separately and use direct spatial comparisons instead of loosely connected phrases such as 'From there' and 'Likewise'.
Lexical Resource
A reasonably varied map-description vocabulary is evident, though several collocations such as 'transferred in the left corner' and 'original structure' are imprecise.
Use natural location and change phrases such as 'moved to the left-hand side', 'remained in place', and 'was added beside'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A mix of simple and complex structures communicates the changes clearly, but recurring article, passive-form, agreement, and tense errors reduce control.
Check that every passive construction includes the auxiliary verb and keep tense and subject agreement consistent throughout.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
Plan A below shows a health centre in 2005. Plan B shows the same place in the present day.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.