The chart shows the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.
Sample Response
The given bar graph depicts the numbers of mobile phones and landlinesmobile or land phone numbers per 100 people in seven different countriesdifferent seven countries. The first point to note is that the highest numberthat highest number of phones per 100 people was recordedphones used by the people in Denmark.
It occupied almost an equal number of mobile and land phones that is 82% and 86% respectively. Canada and the USA have almost half of it users of mobile phones which are 38% and 48% respectively. Germany had 70 mobile phones per 100 people70% German people have mobile phones while the other countriesother British countries such as the UKlike UK, Sweden and Italy have higher figures than Denmarkmore than the number of Denmark at 85, 88 and 90 per 100 people, respectivelywith 85%, 88% and 90% respectively. For landlinesIn the case of land phones, Italy had the lowest figure, at 42, followed by the UK at 58the lowest number was in Italy with 42% and the UK with 58%. Germany, Canada and Sweden hadWhereas Germany, Canada and Sweden have almost equal numbers with 60, 63 and 68 per 100 people60%, 62% and 65% respectively.
To sum up, it is clear from the graph thatgraph that, the number of mobile phones varies considerablyhas variations, and landline figures also vary considerablywhereas land phones have average use in all the given countries.
Why this response received Band 5.5
The response reports many category figures and generally makes the chart's subject understandable. However, the overview does not accurately identify the dominant cross-country patterns, some landline data are incorrect or omitted, and frequent grammatical errors make several comparisons awkward. Prioritise a precise overview highlighting the highest figures and where mobiles exceed landlines, then verify each value and revise sentence structure.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Many mobile figures are accurately reported, but the overview is vague, Sweden's landline value is misstated, and important cross-country patterns are not identified.
State that Italy has the highest mobile figure, Denmark the highest landline figure, and mobiles exceed landlines in Germany, the UK, Sweden, and Italy.
Coherence and Cohesion
The response has an introduction, detail paragraph, and conclusion, but comparisons are loosely grouped and the "Whereas" fragment disrupts progression.
Organise details by countries where landlines are higher versus those where mobiles are higher, using complete linking sentences.
Lexical Resource
There is enough vocabulary to describe the chart, but inaccurate expressions such as "different seven countries," "It occupied," and "British countries" reduce precision.
Use accurate chart language such as "seven countries," "Denmark recorded," and "selected countries" throughout.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Meaning is generally recoverable, but frequent errors in articles, word order, agreement, pronoun reference, and sentence boundaries reduce control.
Build each comparison with a clear subject and verb, and check articles and agreement before adding figures.
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IELTS Academic Writing Task 1
The chart shows the number of mobile phones and landlines per 100 people in selected countries.
Your response
Write the task yourself, then compare your choices with the annotated response.