The table shows the number of people who took part in a national health survey between 2005 and 2009, answering questions about their sleeping habits.
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Sample Response
The table illustrates the number of women and men who participated in a national health survey regarding their sleeping habits from 2005 to 2009.
Overall, the total number of participants increased significantly, rising continuously each year to reach its highest level in 2009.peaking in 2009. Trends for male and female participants varied considerablyMale and female trends differed, with female numbers peaking in 2008 and male participants surging in 2009. NotablyFurthermore, both genders recorded identical numbers of participantsshared identical participation levels in 2007 and 2009.
In 2005, a total of 8,000 people took part in the survey, comprisingcomposing 6,000 women and 2,000 men. The total then rose markedly to 48,000 in 2006, with men accounting for 36,000, which was three times higher than the 12,000 females recordedthree times the 12,000 recorded for women. In 2007, the total number of participants reached 64,000, with women and men each accounting for 32,000.
A noticeable change occurred in 2008, the number of female participants soared to 331,000 while the figure for menmale declined slightly to 31,000. Consequently,As a result, women made up the vast majority of the 362,000 people that year. By 2009, however, the trend reversed. Female participants fell to 270,000, whereas the number of menmale peaked at 270,000, with the total number reaching 540,000.
Why this response received Band 8.0
The response excels in Task Achievement and Lexical Resource by accurately reporting every data point from the table and using precise, varied vocabulary to describe statistical changes. Paragraphing and logical flow are clearly structured, providing seamless comparisons across all years. To reach the highest band across all criteria, focus on eliminating minor grammatical errors, such as comma splices and incorrect word forms when using gender terms as nouns.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
All key features and data points are presented accurately, supported by a clear overview that highlights major trends and comparisons.
Maintain this high standard by continuing to select main patterns and key figures without including unnecessary peripheral details.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information and key trends are organised logically in clear paragraphs, using a good variety of cohesive devices to signpost comparisons.
Vary sentence structures slightly more when opening data paragraphs to avoid repeating simple time-marker phrases.
Lexical Resource
A wide and flexible range of vocabulary is used with precision to describe increases, peaks, and comparisons across the years.
Ensure precise word form usage, particularly when referring to genders as nouns rather than adjectives.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A good variety of complex structures is used with strong overall control, though a minor punctuation slip creates a comma splice.
Use semicolons or conjunctions instead of commas to connect independent clauses and prevent run-on sentences.