The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
This response is estimated at Band 6.5. Can you write a better one?
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Sample Response
The table and charts provide informationand information on the budget of the police in a particular areaare of Britain for the years 2017 and 2018. The table illustrates the sources of the money and the charts represent how itis was distributed on various essentials, namely salaries, technology, and buildingsbuilding and transport.
Overall, thea national government provided the largest sum of money, which was consistently spent on salaries for officers and staff members.
In 2017, the police budget consisted of £304.7m304.7m in total. The national governmentgrovernment led with £175.5m175.5m of the total funds, which was followed by local taxes with £91.2m91.2m and the smallest amount was provided by other sources, namely grants. The vast majorityThe huge proportion of the budget, exactly 75%, was spentspend on salaries for officers and staff. Furthermore, 17% of the total expenditure was spent on buildings and transport, while the smallest proportion, 8%, went towards technology.17% of the total expenditure was used on technology and the least amount was spent on buildings and transport, 8% respectively.
In 2018, the total budget increased moderately to £318.6mincreased significantly to 318.6m. The highest amountHighest amount was provided by the national government, exactlyexacly 177.8m, which was followed by the local taxes with £102.3m102.3m. Only 38.5m was provided by other sources. RegardingReagarding the expenditure, compared to the year 2017, the money spent on salaries dropped to 69%. Expenditure on technology accounted for athe similar proportion as in 2017, exactly 17%. Lastly, the money spent on buildings and transport remained unchanged at 17%, whereas spending on technology rose from 8% to 14%rose markedly in a year from 8% to 14%.
Why this response received Band 6.5
The report effectively presents a clear overview and logically structures the comparison of funding sources and expenditure across both years. Its primary limitation is a major data misinterpretation caused by swapping the categories for technology and buildings and transport from the pie chart legend. To achieve a higher score, ensure complete accuracy when matching visual data to categories while thoroughly proofreading for minor spelling and grammatical slips.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
The response includes a clear overview and covers all key trends, but misinterprets the pie chart data by confusing technology with buildings and transport.
Cross-check key labels and legend shading carefully against the figures before writing data descriptions.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is logically organized into dedicated paragraphs for each year, maintaining a smooth and clear flow throughout.
Incorporate a wider variety of linking expressions to connect comparisons across years even more seamlessly.
Lexical Resource
A good range of topic-specific vocabulary is used, though occasional spelling mistakes and minor slips are noticeable.
Proofread the text carefully to correct spelling typos like 'grovernment', 'exacly', and 'Reagarding'.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
Sentence structures are generally varied and clear, though minor grammatical errors and missing articles occur occasionally.
Pay closer attention to article usage and double-check passive structures such as 'how it was distributed'.