The table and charts below give information on the police budget for 2017 and 2018 in one area of Britain. The table shows where the money came from and the charts show how it was distributed.
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Sample Response
The table and charts provide information on the budget of the police in a particular area of Britain for the years 2017 and 2018. The table illustrates the sources of the money and the charts represent how it was distributed acrosson various essentials, namely salaries, technology, and buildings and transport.
Overall, the national government provided the largest sum of money, while the majority of expenditure wentwhich was consistently spent on salaries for officers and staff members.
In 2017, the police budget consisted of £304.7m in total. The national government led with £175.5m of the total funds, which was followed by local taxes with £91.2m and the smallest amount was provided by other sources, namely grants. The largesthuge proportion of the budget, exactly 75%, was spent on salaries for officers and staff. Furthermore, 17% was allocated to buildings and transport, while technology accounted for the smallest share at 8%.17% of the total expenditure was spent on technology and the least amount was used on buildings and transport, 8% respectively.
In 2018, the total budget increased moderatelysignificantly to £318.6m. The highest amount was provided by the national government, exactly £177.8m, which was followed by local taxesthe local taxes with £102.3m. Only £38.5m was provided by other sources. Regarding the expenditure, compared to the year 2017, the money spent on salaries dropped to 69%. Expenditure on buildings and transport accounted for an identical proportion to that ofa similar proportion as in 2017, exactly 17%. Lastly, the money spent on technology rose markedly in a year from 8% to 14%.
Why this response received Band 7.0
The response is well-structured and uses a clear overview with a good range of vocabulary and sentence structures. However, its effectiveness is limited by a key data inaccuracy in the pie chart details for 2017, where figures for technology and buildings/transport were swapped. Carefully verifying figures against the charts before finalizing data points will yield the biggest improvement.
IELTS Writing Criteria Scores
Task Achievement
Key features and an overview are included, but figures for technology and buildings and transport in 2017 were misreported.
Double-check labels and corresponding numbers in the charts to avoid misidentifying categories.
Coherence and Cohesion
Information is organized logically into distinct paragraphs with clear overarching progression.
Ensure smooth transitions when referencing percentages across different paragraphs to avoid conflicting statements.
Lexical Resource
A good variety of task-appropriate vocabulary is used accurately to describe percentages, sources, and changes.
Incorporate even more precise comparative language to highlight the precise scale of changes between categories.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
A range of complex structures is displayed with good grammatical control and appropriate punctuation.
Maintain consistent accuracy in complex noun phrases and prepositional phrases when detailing numerical changes.